Moins de Conversation, Plus de Danse

Wait... Really?

2011-07-19T18:55:00.002-07:00

Uh so it seems I now have ten thousand views on here, and I didn't even notice. Well, erm, thanks guys...? Whoever/where ever you are....

I finally feel ready to make another post.

2011-06-06T15:45:00.002-07:00

I don't know why it's taken me so long---maybe because of AP tests and how my creativity and drive has been sqeeezed out of me like toothpaste---but I am now ready to make another post on this good old site for public humiliation. Ah, blogs. What do do with you.

So much has changed since that last post... So much I would never believed if you had told me back in March. Oh dear. In a way though, I'm glad that there is a gap; it sort of illustrates this change that I've been going through.

Well, I'm not moving to Boston. That's big. I thought I was going to for my senior year, but alas I am not. This probably makes me the happiest out of all of the significant things that have happened these last few months because it so elegantly ties into everything else good that has been going on in my world.

We were all so positive that we were moving, but in the course of ten minutes my whole future changed for a second time and I saw myself living here and being able to stay in this homely valley. I can't imagine any other way of being now. Believe it or not, I'm actually glad it happened, as in the whole ordeal. Sure, it was the source of a lot of stress and worry (not to mention blunt fear) but it really did so much for the better in my world. I learned so much about myself and my peers through the process, and I even made a new best friend.

Today, it is my birthday. I'm pretty sure this is the best one so far because it has been so different than the others. For one, it's the first time my birthday has been at/during school. And secondly, I got to spend some wonderful time with the best friends and family anyone could ever ask for. They're all better than I deserve, that's for sure.

In such a contrasting tone to my last post, I would like to announce to the world that I, indeed, am happy.

I reject your reality and substitute my own.

2011-03-27T15:58:00.004-07:00

Denial is a curious coping method. It does more harm than help, yet somehow it's too satisfactory to leave behind. Why do we deny? With some healthy Google searching and random forums, I've come up with the following sequitur:

"Denying is the first step to accept unpleasant facts, and it varies, some take seconds and other take years."

"It's to painful for some to deal with; causes depression in some."

"Cuz it suks."

"I believe that sometimes reality just hurts people and if you deny it then you don't have to deal with it. People like to blame others and not get real with themselves, it is their coping mechanism! Very tragic but true!"

"They would rather live a lie."

"Sometimes people are too stubborn to accept reality because they know the reality of what really is will either be something they don't like or will hurt them terribly. No one likes feeling uncomfortable or being hurt, so we deny reality as a type of defense mechanism. "

You can sure as purple drink deny an event, but I've realized you can't deny denial. So why not face it here for the entire internet community to see? That's the spirit.

Sometimes, I lose hope.

2011-02-18T20:16:00.000-07:00

Farewell, dreams.

Dem Wisdom Teef.

2011-02-13T13:11:00.015-07:00

On Friday, I had the wonderful opportunity to undergo minor surgery to extract my WISDOM TEETH. That's right. All four. All impacted, meaning that they were still in little balls in my jawbone and hadn't yet come out and grown their own roots. They are much more painful to extract that way. I'm sure that you can tell it's been a party around here. THE PROCESS: What I can recall. I flopped myself into the chair, saw Caroline passed out in a cubicle next to me, and made some jokes with the anesthesiologist who laughed with me while rudely sticking a 3 1/2 inch long needle in my hand. And wiggling it around. And digging it in. It looked really gross. Then she started pumping some clear fluid into my veins and I put my head down. I think it took maybe ten seconds for me to go out. Next thing I know, I hear voices. It was really odd because I knew time had elapsed (two and a half hours, actually) but my brain had no recollection to make the assumption off of. I don't think that makes sense. Anyway, I remember giving people thumbs up before I opened my eyes, then finally looking out of the window while my mom told me I had to move to another chair. Then I remember feeling relieved that I had moved/didn't have to move anymore. A few minutes later I opened my eyes again and saw that the window was in a different spot, so I asked/groaned through cotton how it had moved. My mom told me I had stumbled and been dragged over into another chair. Half of my head said.... oh yeah, while the other half didn't believe it. I sat in the chair for a certain amount of time---don't ask me, I have no idea how long. I remember the news was on the TV above me, and I saw that the President of Egypt had finally stepped down. "MUUUH-BRRR-AAAGGHHK! Ehhhhhh Gnnnne!" I remember I kept trying to talk to the ladies all around me about it, and one of them said something about how it would effect the whole world, especially England. Then I remember I was texting and they were all laughing about that. Imagine some old lady chuckling, shaking her head and saying Teenagers. Little Rascals.

The anesthesiologist was jokingly-mad at me because apparently I had made her pretty braid fall out AND she had to miss her lunch break. Caroline and I had the most difficult wisdom teeth that they said they had ever extracted because they were WAY high and tucked away. Caroline, in fact, was lucky that she didn't lose her molars. So they just drilled and drilled, cracked and cracked, dug and dug. My sister said that not only we would have shards of jaw bone up in there for years, but if we got punched or bumped in the face our jaw would break pretty easily until the strength came back. Cheer stunting is going to be FUNNNNNNN. Each of us took a little over an hour, which is supposedly horrifically long. I wouldn't know, of course, but yeah. Then some lady helped me back into the waiting room, where I took that lovely picture above with my mom's phone and sent it to Franny.

Um.... I remember getting in the car. I remember faintly wanting a "VNNNNUUUUHH" (vanilla) frozen custard, recieving it and promptly spilling it all over myself and getting really mad at my mom. Then I remember leaving Designer's Resource downtown (my mom had to pick something up) and repeating, "How did we get here?" while my mom studiously ignored me. I have no idea how I missed the 35 minute freeway drive down TO Designer's Resource, or waiting for my mom while she went in, or the 20 minute drive home from there. My brain just goes: High fived a nurse-->Got in

the car-->Custard-->Leaving design store-->stumbling out of the car and walking into my house.

Then I was mad at another something or other while my mom reminded me that I was going to be a responsible, good patient. She made me get into her bed and turned on the TV. We don’t have TV. Really, we don’t. My mom doesn’t believe in cable or satellite. More than half of our channels are Mexican or Korean or something, and the other half are pure craft and jewelry crap. It really sucked. And the two shows that I was maybe okay with looking at, but not really watching (That 70’s Show and something else I can’t remember) were all fuzzed out. My pain medicine wore off suddenly. I don’t know if it was so painful that my eyes were watering, or if I was crying. But I’ll tell you, she hurt like a B. I just stared at the wall for hours until suddenly my sister Emily was there saying that she could see I was in pain from just looking at my eyes, and suddenly I was swallowing more pills than an addict.

Yeah, so it was fun.

Around nine PM I'm pretty sure my friends came over. I remember playing with the cat, um...... playing with the cat............................ Man, I really don't remember anything else. Shoot. Wow. I have no idea what happened. That's so surreal.

I don't even remember what I did yesterday. All I remember is eating pudding and Evan came over and brought me sherbet, which was sublime and tastes like Fruit Loops. I think I left the house once. Maybe.

Alright. I can’t write anymore. The Lortab is kicking in and I’m too high. I have to go call someone, probably Franny. Stay tuned in for Dem Wisdom Teef: Part II.

UPDATE: Shortly after this was posted, I cut off a chunk of my own hair. I think it was an accident.

I'm sick of having all of these drafts.

2011-02-13T12:59:00.003-07:00

....So I posted them. I've actually written quite a few things on here, yet haven't had the nerve to publish them/have been too lazy to finish my thoughts/forgot about them.

If you can find them (some are from quite a while ago, and since Blogger organizes them by date---which I like---they're scattered across the last 8 posts or so.) you can have a gold star.

All the Single Ladies, All the Single Ladies

2011-01-27T22:13:00.006-07:00

To update my readers (*cough* Guys? ....Hello? Anybody here?):

I'm growing out my bangs.
I decided that I love school because I have the coolest friends in the world.
I'm still single.

Inexcusably, horrifyingly single. Heck, it seems like we all are! What's with this world?

Because I'm feeling strangely analytical today, and perhaps I need some stability in my life, I'd like to take some time to offer a few equations:

T α 1/D

T= Time left in junior year

D= Desperation

T α Rf

T= Amount of MicroFoaming Toothpaste used

Rf= Rabies Factor: How much you look like you have rabies

M α H

(This one's only for a select few. H ≠ Hannah, or Hollberg. Never fear.)

Oh the irony (this one goes out to Françoise) that I'm making mathematical equations here. Seeing as in math today... Yeah. My hands are still shaking.

I may still be single, but at least I have guy friends. Phew! And I'm lucky enough to get to go to Junior Prom with the coolest one on Saturday -- thanks, Evan! I'm super excited.

Sometimes, I'm kind of a tool.

2011-01-16T16:16:00.004-07:00

Honestly, I'm not exactly sure of the true definition of a "tool," but it's been used lavishly around me recently and my mind is pretty hooked on it. Best to get it out.

I have this brain-mouth thing that doesn't always work. Honestly, it hardly works. I have doubts. You just have to realize that sometimes I'm going to say something that I don't mean, or makes me look like a fool, etc. I don't try to, I swear. It just happens. I am so, so very sorry.

On a similar note, after I get my wisdom teeth out here in a few weeks, I'm going to lock myself in my room for the following 3 days. Having seen the after effects on someone else, I don't wish to burden society like that. I'm sure that I'll be even more high and crazy and destructive. This is what I'm going to print out and put on my door:

HANNAH.

YOU ARE HIGH.

YOU ARE MEAN.

DO NOT LEAVE THIS ROOM.

DO NOT TOUCH YOUR PHONE.

YOUR FACEBOOK PASSWORD HAS BEEN CHANGED.

SINCERELY,

NORMAL HANNAH.

But really, to those of you I have said something insensitive to, been sarcastic to, made fun of, etc. I am truly sorry. My thought process is broken. My brain has been hiding from me. I didn't mean it. I'm not thinking of a specific instance here, but I have to say that it's been a reoccuring instance. Please, ignore me.

What do I need?

2011-01-02T14:45:00.008-07:00

If you're bored, and possibly procrastinating (hey, I guessed right!) you may want to try this. Go to Google and type in your name + needs.

Example: "Hannah needs "

Well Google, what do I need? Here are my top 15 favorites, not in any particular order.

Hannah needs to freely explore her world.
Hannah needs a farm visit.
Hannah needs a Foster home.
Hannah needs a good break.
Hannah needs Roomies! (Actual inflection)
Hannah needs a photo of a Marine Corps dress, blue buttons. (Oddly specific)
Hannah needs food, walks, and a steady supply of tail-scratches.
Hannah needs a hug.
Hannah needs some alone time.
Hannah needs $3 million.
Hannah needs your money.
Hannah needs some sensitivity training.
Hannah needs to die off or something.
Hannah needs to tan.
Hannah needs to be loved.

Isn't that pathetically revealing? I thought so. Apparently I need to open up to the world (perhaps through a farm visit), be more sensitive. Then and then I can be tan, loved, and rich! If that doesn't work, I just need to die off or something.

This is almost as funny as the controversial Google Suggest. I suggest that you try it. I've even set another one up for you about the human race! Just click on *Update*.

Through this experience I have not only learned that a surprising number of Hannahs are Jewish, but that if people actually took Google's advice, we would be a very bewildered, uncertain people with few/no philosophical values.

Pronounced "JIN-juh"

2010-11-20T23:13:00.006-07:00

The common redhead, or flavus humana rubra, has hair natually varying from a deep burgundy to bright copper. Approximately 1% to 2% of the human population is affected by this rare anomoaly, which appears in people with two copies of a recessive gene which causes a mutation in the MC1R protein. Gingerism is associated with fair skin color, lighter eye colors (gray, blue, green, and hazel), freckels, and senstivity to ultraviolet light. Cultural reactions have varied from ridicule to admiration, with many existing stereotypes regarding redheads.

Commonly known as coppertops, fantapants, gingarians, ginga ninjas, ginge-tinges, carrot tops, rust heads, and copper knobs, these fiery fellows have been walking the earth for about 50,000 years. Throughout history, their presence has left a mark upon society that can be found through literature and art. During the midieval ages, red hair was thought to be the mark of beastly sexual desire and moral degeneration. Montague Summers, in his translation of the Malleus Maleficarum, notes that red hair and green eyes were thought to be the sign of a witch, a werewolf or a vampire.

(A fresco of a red-haired THracian nonble woman in the Otrusha Mound in central Bulgaria, 4th century BC.)

There are two kinds of redheads existing in our world today, the first of which being the ginger, or sapien flavus rubra. This creature is typically shy, self-concious, intelligent, and socially awkward. Gingers have a certain inclination to wear shades of purple or pink that clash magnificently with their frizzy mane of fury. They enjoy spending their time meticulously practicing the piano, knitting socks, and singing to themselves. Clingling to familiar habitats, gingers can be found in various dark places such as their mother's basement or a cassette rental store. Once fully grown and matured (a feat requiring at least 30 years), gingers usually end up owning either:

a) A large, successful company,
b) A steady supply of prostitutes,
c) A creepy shack full of cats.

The common ginger is not to be mistaken wit the Cohors hominis spectantia flavus rouge, or gang-dwelling ginga, which is a whole seperate species of redhead. Gingas have an extreme terperament which matches the flaming color of their foreign hair. They are stubborn, demanding, critical, easy to upset, clever, competitive, violent, loud, sarcastic, and hot-headed. A ginga never forgets, and a ginga never forgives.

Gingas are identified as cap-busting, kitten saving, well rounded people. "Do not mess with gingas; they are thugs who don't show if from their skin or hair, but are likely to carry a Glock without you ever expecting it. They ain't afraid to kick your [booty]." (Anonymous classmate)

Gingas are oft found relaxing at classy piano clubs, arguing with brunettes, or fighting Gingerism hate crimes with piercing intellect and strenght as a minority group in the American community. They enjoy good music and creativity, and are not afraid to get sassy on anyone--white freckly-kid style.

Redheads may be commonly mistaken for hall passes, road construction signs, basketballs, carrots, pumpkins, and road cones. No matter how hard it seems, you must never confuse redheads with these items.

Here in America, film and television programs often portray school bullies as having red hair; for example, Scot Farkus from A Christmas Story, the O'Doyle family in the movie Billy Madison, or the bully character Caruso in Everybody Hates Chris. However, children with red hair are often themselves targeted by bullies; "Somebody wit hginger hair will stand out from the croud," says anti-bullying expert Louise Burfitt-Dons.

Although they may be different from the rest of the world, gingers are people too. They enjoy long walks on the beach and evenings with their ginger-haired sweetheart and a glass of wine, just like any other person. Redheads even feel pain--recent studies have shown that gingers need twenty percent more anesthetics to loose their pain reflexes than the average brunette or blonde. So next time you pass a ginger--or ginga--by on the street, stop for a moment to appreciate the rare genetic mutation. They add a little more diversity to our lives. And they're pretty dang funny to watch.

Feeling Self-Concious

2010-11-11T22:15:00.003-07:00

After reading my last post, one might be confused as to the state of this blog. Have I completely abandoned it in the past five months? Talk about a complete reversal... The filthy hypocrite!

Maybe it's because school started. Whenever I get into a very... involving... english class, I have to be writing so often that my brain does a complete flop and I can no longer write outside of boring essays arguing controversies that no one has heard of. Gosh, listen to me now. I'm not even coherent, and I've stuttered over five months to be able to build up to this.

Yes. I have written about a dozen or so posts. They are currently residing in the lovely place where saved drafts live on the blogosphere. But everytime I open one of them up to edit/publish it, I feel like a total idiot for writing it in the first place and I feel like it doesn't represent me at all because it's too silly or too depressing. So pretty much, I'm a bipolar freak who has trouble staying in one emotion over time when writing. You know. Ha. I'll probably hate this tomorrow.

That, and I feel completely scrutinized for my work. It's as if there is some hawk-of-an-AP-Lang teacher staring over my shoulder, diving too deep into concepts, being too opinionated, and absolutely shutting my warrants down. Like some mean, destroying machine. Killer of children and small, furry animals.

I can't even THINK for myself anymore! Any deeper, philosophical thought that I might have relates to some discussion that we've had in class, and I suddenly feel self-concious like I have something to say and I want to say it, but I can't unless I am 100% sure it's impressive. I feel like I could argue over anything. I feel like I can't talk about anything. It's like I'm stuck in some monkey-hell limbo. That was a Mighty Boosh reference.

I may have to do a post on that show.

So.... You may or may not be able to imagine how I've forced myself to trudge through the past weeks, ignoring that tantalizing picture of blueberry-cake-whatever-it-was-after-all (which, as a matter of fact, was not too successful at persuading me to post as soon as I should have).

You know what, grammar? You suck. Nobody likes you. You have no friends.

*Smacks forehead*

I don't know how to write _ _ _ _ anymore. I cannot. It's as if somebody threw a rice bag over my head and threw me into a lake.

Haha, that would actually be fun.

No, dangit. It wouldn't!

*Smacks forehead*

It's so strange to think that it was JULY last time I posted on here. Now, it's mid-November, we're preparing for Christmas in dance, and there's snow on the ground. Eff.

[Untitled]

2010-09-25T13:35:00.007-07:00

It's crazy to think that last time I posted on here, it was summer.

I've been having some conflicting feelings, as of late. Mainly, it's all about balance: When to do this, when to do that. If a joke is appropriate. If it's over the top. If it's underrated. This is a completely fine assessment, I know, for a teenager to be going through. It's just... I don't know. Not harder, per se, but more interesting than I thought.

Yesterday, a rather self-absorbed girl leaned over to me during French III. "Oh-mi-gosh," she said. "I just LOVE pop. It's my favorite genre." I honestly had nothing to say to her, having no visible way of either agreeing pitifully or shooting her down truthfully. I just managed to raise my eyebrows at her for a moment and returned to the lecture. But honestly, is this what we've come to? Thinking that A: POP is a genre and B: You are then inclined to just like what everyone else is liking? That's what pop is--what's popular. It's pretty disappointing...

The whole image of reputation and popularity is such a fickle concept. Honestly, it's so immature. Will we ever grow out of it? I still find myself frowning when I see adults who are so self-conscious and oriented around others. I kinda feel badly for them, really. It's not a fun position at all. But it's not a big deal to just walk away from that whole conception and be able to see the greater perspective of, I don't know, being friends with everyone. It must have been hard for them in high school.

I used to be one of them. I was so unhappy, though. I remember it still: there was always so much drama, and even if you were in the popular group, there were many divisions within. Bad feelings, back stabbing, gossipping... all of it was there. I don't hate these people--no not at all. I just know that they are so much better than that.

Can't we all just... be more classy? More sportsmanlike? Those kind of people are so much more attractive; I mean this in the literal meaning of the word.

Whatever, I have the best friends in the world.

Sometimes I feel sarcastic. Deal.

2010-08-22T13:31:00.013-07:00

After many weeks of intense pain, misery, and a pinch of gut-twisting agony, I have decided that I no longer feel the need to always have reason to post on my blog.

So, like, scratch that last post.

I mean temporarily. C'mon, you don't expect me to be regular at anything, right?

As a first note of business, I would like to inform you that our intelligent German Shepard Maggie has been sneaking onto my mom's computer for the past few months. Luckily, we learned that she has only managed to create a Facebook account, and give my email address to some really spunky spammers who insist that I'm the "SOPHIE" they're looking for.

Her main page... I'd recommend clicking on these pictures to see them full size.

Her interests and such.

Although we've managed to restrain her from the computer for the time being, (a process involving a harness, choke chain, fence post in the middle of our backyard, and a set of new passwords on any electronic device we own, and one trip to the hospital) Maggie wishes that I inform you all that she is willing to be friends with anyone who sends her an invite.

Second, I'm debating as to what my next created t-shirt made shall be. Here are my options:

1. A llama with a wicked unicorn horn. No words included. It's a fantastic beast anyway.

2. Big bright, tag words that say GINGA FO LIFE

3. A high-contrast Spock holding his hands up doing the Vulcan greeting thing with some sick headphones on. Maybe a tape player.

My third bullet point of the day is... goodbye iPod. We shared some cosmic days together, but now it's time to separate. Apple deserves a cruel Achilles-tendon clipping for the pain that they have caused you and I by not covering water/liquid damage in the warranty. You were the first iPod that I bought myself, and the last. I'm afraid that I am now broke and lack the ability to save money. I have finally been able to admit this to myself.

My Personal Posting Process (how quaint!)

2010-07-31T07:49:00.010-07:00

Probably the main source of persuasion for me for semi-regular blog posting is the fact that I've set my blog as my homepage. It adds this nice, guilt-inducing, pain-in-the-neck type feel to my Internet surfing experience. When I do post, I usually like to embed a picture somewhere within my text so that each day as I click that little 'e' icon, I can see that same picture over and over, until I'm driven to tears and eventually dread and avoid this stupid DELL, being compulsed to perform my maniacal, time wasting activities elsewhere.

So, with my marbles lost and my brain batty, I unconsciously begin to brainstorm. Usually I have small thoughts or portions on my mind that don't have enough fluff to make a long enough post (see my many accounts of "bullet-pointed, conjoined posts") or ideas that when I actually WAKE UP 7 or 8 hours later I realize they are boggles.

What's up with my vocabulary today? Maybe it's because there's no food in this house and I'm surviving off a multitude of blueberry muffin-cake that my mom made two evenings ago for my sister-in-law's arrival from Seattle. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner, baby!

I think I'm going to vomit.

Anywho, after several weeks, I stop dreading the Internet--specifically my homepage--and face this fiery dart head on. I finally make a post that will let my panging guilt romp free.

I write about how OH, WOE-BE-GONE me has SO MUCH TO DO, which I certainly don't deny but you've got to be getting as sick of it as I am... It's without a doubt easier to hint or allude to recent quote-unquote DRAMAS (how dramatic.) going on in my WOE-BE-GONE life than actually fessing up. Hey, it's the world wide web. I getta do whatever I want!

Then for some reason, I can never figure it out, but after I write that one post, I feel the need to change or edit it a ba-gillion times for virtually no effect. And THEN I have TONS of ideas that seem to flood in to every pore of my consciousness and harass my very existence. My one point of verdict is the fact that I don't like it when you publish two posts in one day and the date gets taken off of the second one because it's unnecessary.

Finally, once I quench my many yearnings to publish countless posts in a single mad minute, I see that pretty much, I don't know, NO ONE feels the need to comment on one until 2 weeks later out of pity. This is particularly despicable because people find it acceptable to TELL ME they read my blog in PERSON but "don't know how to comment" my EYE--and yes, Maria, I'm pointing at you. Look, if I WANTED to talk to you in person I WOULD but OBVIOUSLY I'm posting on my BLOG instead. Suck on that.

As you may have already found, I started this blog when I was a measily, knee-knobbing seventh grader. I apparently felt the need to use as many exclamation points as possible--a need that I believe has transferred into the insane amount of commas I post with--along with being extraordinarily schizophrenic. I can see why nobody read this baby. Wow. Pretty much, I just posted a picture on and screamed about it or demanded that people vote on some who knows what poll. How miserable. Gosh, I was an obbessive child.

Then, I believe (I don't actually have the stomach right now to go back and clarify this) I turned into some emotional, sarcastic, meat-loving, not as crazy poster--as in one that posts. Thank goodness you can see that I've matured and actually SEEN MORE OF THE WORLD. Let me say that TWILIGHT IS A DISGRACE TO THIS BLOG and I CANNOT BELIEVE I SAID THAT I LOVED ALL POP SONGS TO THE EXTENT OF KNOWING EVERY WORD. I was more shallow than I can ever believe, even in eighth grade which was my best year. I really am going to puke.

Anyway, I hope now I've seen the light. Maybe one day I'll look back on this and feel the need to defenestrate my past, but c'est la vie for now. There's nothing more I can do here.

DANG IT ALL. I just thought of the best post.

Let me introduce myself.

2010-06-30T11:02:00.009-07:00

Because we all know that the first time wasn't up to par.

Pretty much throughout my life, I’ve been known as Caroline’s sister; usually it’s because we’re only a year apart in school. See, we’re 22 months and one day apart by birth but are side by side grade-wise, she being very old for her grade, and I young. As a result of this happy coincidence she is usually the one who blazes the trail for both of our educational experiences.

I’d gladly accept a chance to introduce myself before the literal school year begins so we can just skip those painful pauses in class where the teacher will either (A) Call me Caroline by mistake and force me to correct them in front of everyone or (B) Silently stare at me for a time while trying to decipher exactly who I am. Occasionally, I get the rare (C) where teachers who shall remain anonymous will actually start a conversation with me whilst under the impression that I am, indeed, my sister (“Wait… no, yeah you’re the other one, right?”). It’s not like I hold a grudge against them or anything because they have a couple hundred names to memorize each year, but after 12 years of this cycle you can’t blame me for feeling a little worn and withered.

Me, Hannah Hollberg, who am I? I, to put it simply, am a high school student. We are hormonal… dramatic… and we do completely unnecessary things that are apparently “life essential”. We overreact, we whine, we protest. “Nobody understands us,” but that’s not true at all. The only misunderstanding going on is of ourselves. I’m not going to admit that I have everything figured out right now, or claim that I can see my future clearly now. No, the rain must be gone first—whether that be hormones, immaturity, or blatant stupidity. Probably the latter.

Now I hope you can better understand the tumbling mental turmoil that shakes my delicate teenage emotional balance: I want to be someone,—no, I want to be myself, but I have no idea who the crow that is right now. To an extent, at least.

At this current juncture, I am a passionate dancer, addicted to music, an amateur blogger, a compulsive reader, a competitive soul who is intrigued by physics, I’m a straightforward, sarcastic, yet hopeful spirit. I might be childlike and immature, but I am an active lover of arguments, a conservative who listens of NPR. My step-father describes me as precocious, but my mom dislikes the word because it sounds “snotty.” She prefers “bright.”

When I say that I’m a lover or arguments… well, that’s truer than most people will assume. I definitely do not let others shape my beliefs, but I develop them on my own from applicable and respectable resources. Call it pigheaded, and I’ll call it sophisticated. I believe an education, in virtually all matters, is essential to the survival of a nation because once you have a dull and gullible people, a dictator can use whatever means he or she wants to use to manipulate and destroy them. Yep, I’m a fiery red head.

I spend most of my time outside of school dancing: ballet and modern dance are my preferré because they are the yin and yang balance of my life. Modern is the raw, dynamic expression of the emotion inside me while ballet requires self discipline and rigid adherence to form; it’s the constant in my life that everyone needs in some form or another when things get difficult. Both are necessary and they help me look upon the small dramas of life with a more open and composed perspective.

I also enjoy spending some of my extra-curricular in theatre. Oh, I suck big time at it, trust me. But it’s so incredible! Take 5 is one of my favorite events of the year (cheese ahead) because you learn so much from each other and get so close to so many people. Sure, there are numerous times where you cringe and wonder who in the world decided that high school students could accommodate an acting program, but any of these thoughts are eradicated by the sheer joy of performing work (if not well, then communally) to an audience. It reminds me of dance, my ultimate passion, in this way.

To sum it all up, I am a lover of life. I love people, art, creation, activity in mental, physical, and spiritual matters. I appreciate the sciences and realities in existence, and when someone accomplishes the seemingly impossible. I may not have found out exactly who I am yet but in all honestly, I can’t help falling in love with life.

Me, Hannah Hollberg, who am I? I, to put it simply, am a high school student.

You may never know what results come of your action,
but if you do nothing there will be no result.
-Mahatma Ghandi

Virus.

2010-06-28T07:59:00.005-07:00

I'm ill. Really, please lock me up.

Ha, no this post isn't going to be the same as the last few--ranting on about my social life--but moreover explaining myself, yeah? Try to keep up.

So... how do I start? How DID it start?

I think I was babysitting or something. I saw it on TV. It was sixth grade, so I think Nickelodeon was still cool back then. Not only that, but I think I might have heard some mojo about it in class. Avatar this, Avatar that. It kinda made me frustrated, like sometimes people do when they don't know what the big deal is about a new TV show and that everyone who is quote-unquote OBSESSED with it is lame...? Yeah. But then I saw it--hated to admit it, but I loved it! Dude: cheesy jokes, wicked ninja moves, and pretty good animation... That's my ballpark.

I'm just joking; really, it's great.

Anyway, I remember last year around this same time and I was at the midnight showing of Harry Potter 6 when I saw this pre-movie ad. I was just like.... no............ It can't be. Dude, that would be...... no.......... there is no way.........

This was the first teaser--the exact one that I saw.

Once it got to the part where he took his hood off and you could see the arrow, I unconciously stood up (almost knocking over a plethora of candy) and just about yelled, "NO WAY!" but for the intent of the rest of the theatre patrons, I was reined in my dear friend Franny with much yanking and some violence.

I had no idea they were making a movie. Man, that was overall a great night. I was and still am really skeptical about M. Night Shyamalan, but I hope against hope that it's going to be as great as the series was. But, if he DOES manage to botch it all up, I will personally ensure that his entrails shall become his extrails.

So, you have no idea how excited for Wednesdsay night I am when I'll be going to the midnight showing of The Last Airbender. I've shown pretty much my entire family the series, and they want to see the movie too when it comes out. Even my military soldier, macho-insiting brother-in-law Gerritt wants to come with my friends and I to the midnight showing. My sister Caroline (18), who I got involved in the series is super excited too. I'm not even joking--we love it! Seriously.

So if you're going, see you there when it previews around the world. I'll be the one yelling nonsense in the theatre.

If you have no idea what Avatar is, watch this:

The lady is a bit obnoxious but she covers it well. You'll get used to her.

Btw, this was the REAL AVATAR--> so no blue aliens involved. The movie originally was going to be called Avatar like the series but then Cameron came and messed things up so it's The Last Airbender now.

Reflections

2010-06-19T15:56:00.003-07:00

I guess I should talk a bit about the end of the year and all.... because I sorta feel like I have a lot that I can't say or express.

So let's force it!

The end of the school year... wow. Completely different from any other yearbook day that I have ever experienced. I have felt regret like crazy! I don't really even know what it is... Okay that's a lie. I know what it is, exactly. Maybe I'm not going to go into details here, even though I may have let it on that I would, but I feel like I could have done so much MORE, you know? Like, I'm feeling kinda sick that over the summer I might lose the friendships that I made over the 2009-2010 school year, and I feel nauseous (I know, isn't that pathetic?) to think that things will be different next year.

I don't want to lose anybody else.

Sure, a select few people might know to a pinpoint what I am beating around here. You have to understand, though. I am happy for those few seconds on yearbook day--that was so much more than I could have ever asked for, really. Now I know though that I'm going to TAKE THE INITIATIVE this summer. I am NOT going to loose anything. I think I'm going to plan a movie day or scavenger hunt down at the City Library (those are SO fun) and invite just a ton of people. Seriously. This is going to happen! I'm going to flood my social life to and extent that I become sick--the good kind of sick though, not this regret eating me now.

You'll never believe what I found...

2010-05-09T18:38:00.005-07:00

Yesterday, at my dance studio, I saw the most unbelievable thing. Absolutely couldn't comprehend my luck.

I was in the upstairs studio, taking a break for a second. I was looking out the open window at the leaves on the trees as they blew in the wind, the cars passing the Blue Plate Cafe.... etc. When I saw a little old Chinese man wearing a white apron holding something and walking out to the parking lot. I didn't really see what he was holding, but I assumed he was from the Chinese restaurant next to us. I hadn't acknowledged him conciously at all pretty much until he reached the dumpster. There I saw him fiddling around with something, trying to fit something else in---something cardboard. For some reason that I don't even want to think about, I was able to zero in on him from 60+ feet away, and what he was holding.

It was a cardboard cutout of someone.

And I was 90% sure I knew exactly who it was.

That's the part that slightly disgusts me.

Anyway, I called my sister.

"Caroline-- I'm pretty sure I just some short, old Chinese man holding a Taylor Lautner life-size cardboard cutout. He just put it in the dumpster."
"WHAT? You better get that or I'll kill you."
"Carrie, I thought you got over the whole Twilight fetish four years ago or something when people actually started to know what it was."
"I did. But can you not imagine the possibilities we would have with that thing?!"
"Fair point."
"Go get it."

I didn't want to look like a complete idiot by myself (dumpster diving around fried eggs and rice to get Taylor Lautner's torso) so when Caroline came to pick me up I had her help me out. We whistled extremely subtley and ran nonchalantly to the dumpster. Graciously, the cut-out was at the top.

So... now we have this thing in our house. It is actually REALLY FREAKY. You keep thinking it's really someone (he looks like a stalker!) Surprisingly, my mom has been approving of it--yeah she still screams when she sees at first, like we all do (FREAKY.) but today she actually suggested that we put it on the front lawn to welcome my sister, uncle, and step-dad home from church. It's been non-stop pranking for the past 24 hours. This morning Caroline went in to take a shower, but when she drew back the curtains, there HE was, glaring at us with his 'scorching, fierce eyes.'

I'm pretty sure I'm going to now:
(A) Ask someone to the dance with it.
(B) Put it in a friend's house with help from their family.
or (C) Continue to frighten my family with it.

So friends. Beware.

Family, it gets even scarier with time.

If you see a shadow looming over your bed.... Hey, that's actually a really good idea! Yes.... sleep with one eye open.

I'll get you a picture of it.

You know, the thing I'm STILL wondering is why did the wrinkled old man have it in the first place?!

Gotta Keep Your Face Up

2010-04-30T14:00:00.003-07:00

STRESS RELIEF!
Definitely needed.

#1 TINY TIM. You actually have to see to believe.

#2 Where the Dirty Hipsters Are (Wild Things Spoof)

#3 Your Mother, Minesweeper--The Movie, or The Legend of Link's Distractions (sorry, they disabled the embedding feature so you'll have to click) From College Humor. I love these guys so much! Look them up.

Keeping On.

2010-04-21T14:04:00.005-07:00

As you can see, I've been procrastinating posting on here for quite some time. I've been a bit nervous, see, because it's the big 100 post. Usually people make some big flashy deal about how cool they are, how they love blogging, and thanking their nonexisent fans...but I decided it should be just like any other post. I don't blog for publicity, or for "AdSense" or because everyone else is doing it. I do it to get stuff off my chest, to enter a world where I can just blab and bemoan others while sitting in sweats in the comforts of my own home. I do like my soccer sweats.

So in some patriotic, individualistic way of going against the status quo, I'm going to bore you all to tears.

I think different, don't I? Not quite sure myself how I came to that conclusion.

A lot of things have been going on recently. I guess a good portion of that has too do with the fact that it's spring. Things that confuse you, overwhelm you, disgust you, all that is included in that grand package life gives you called "high school." Those simple pressures and seemingly meaningless communique wear you down after a day or two of hopeless drama. Not that I involve myself in drama, of course.

Gah.

I'm such a sucker.

And there are those days and times where you look at yourself with revulsion. Look at me, I'm so cliche, and all that crap. Or when you talk to your friends and can't bear to say things out loud because it's then when they become somehow more solid, and very real. Those deep thoughts that float around in your head that you almost subconciously block. One question from a childhood friend and it can all come spilling out. You end up writing six page notes on physics graphing papers that you want to burn, tear, and mutilate in any way possible the minute they leave your hand. That leaves you sitting on the ground with your hood up during a thunderstorm thinking "Gosh, I really am such an idiot."

It's not like anyone expected to like electricity, or pain so much.

Except everyone before us.

But even through everything, there is always something that you can look at during the duration of what people call the day. That one thing that you could stare at unblinkingly for hours on end. Whether it be the flames licking the tiles in a fireplace, drops of dew on blushing tulips, or the tendons on your hands, that one thing captures your mind like the brush of a feather--and everything is erased. You take it willingly, let it occupy the space. No thoughts pass through during this period, rather you are frozen in cold light.

I think the perfect cure for submersion is sitting outside under a patio and in the rain, wearing your most comfy sweatshirt and reading a deep book. There is so much going on right now for me, that this is a paradise. Don't go on Facebook. Don't itiner-ate your life away. Just sit. Smell the rain. Breathe.

I also think that it's really important to keep the main picture of things in mind. It's only homework, no you're not really going to die, yes you should forgive them... Just step back, run your hands through your hair, put on RayBands (this really helps me feel less vulnerable when I'm thinking), and look at your life from the outside. If possible, involve the others around you. When you feel swept away, grab someone else and ask them what's on their mind lately. Tell them they look nice. I know that my mom works a ton, all cooped up in her office downstairs. She worries a lot. Being a designer, she is very critical of her surroundings from an artistic point of view. She whines and fiddles around with stuff in our house, trying to get the perfect arrangement of candles you can't light (?) on our mahogany mantle piece. So today after school, I pulled her out of yet another email and brought her outside onto our driveway. There was a brief break in the rain, in that gorgeous part of the day where the sun breaks through dense, silver-lined storm clouds... and you feel all clean and stuff. Well, everything in our front yard was exploding with color in bright green leaves against maroon branches, or hundreds of fresh color-schemed tulips, or a gently rusting iron crane fountain... It was all very elegantly arranged--an obvious product of my mom's nit-pickyness. Anyway, so I towed her out to our still wet driveway and faced her towards our house.

"Look Mom, you have a beautiful house."

She smiled. Then I smiled.

I'm glad I helped.

So just remember, while the sheets of water are coming down so thick that you could draw it aside like a set of curtains, remember to be undisturbed by life.

And..... Happy 100th post, anyway.

Spring is Coming!

2010-03-19T17:19:00.011-07:00

I'm really quite the winter person, but lately I've been extremely sick of the random blizzards that keep cropping up every time the thermometer reaches at least 55 degrees.

It happened twice today--flash blizzards. Then it was in the 50's for the rest of the day. I mean, what the heck?!

These are some herbs we're growing on our window sill in the kitchen.

Our circle is looking slightly better.... at least there's not six inches of snow anymore.

Here's a paper crane of hope that I made for my cousin with leukemia. It's just chance that it's pink.... I put it on here because, well, because spring is hope too, I think?

Some flowers Caroline got from Junior Prom. "Fuuuur CUTE!" *gag* Inside joke.

Moving on.

Little purple buds...

Don't they look so smooth, like you could just reach out and touch them...?

This reminds me of that recent post by Franny... 4 Little Trees (or something)

It's almost spring!

And now because it's spring, we have (in our possession now) a new camera, and my kitties were looking too fluffy luscious to pass up, I'm now going to post some pictures of them and Maggie like a crazy old lady. Anyway, here's Mowie basking in the sunlight.

This is how fat she really is...

That's exactly the face he wears about everything.

This is taken right as Caroline walked in wearing only spankies. Maggie is clearly mortified.

Kakoa looking too smug and content for my liking.

Mowie!

Close up of her little nose... a little overwhelming when in full size.

If you click on this picture, it's really cool because it looks like you can just reach out and pet her fur.

Maggie looking forlorn.

I don't exactly know what look Maggie was giving me here, but it was hilarious so I'm putting it on anyways. Caroline says she looks like a moose. If you know the story behind our last dog and how he saved my mom's life, you'll find this ironic. Especially seeing as my mom doesn't like Maggie.

"I'b so excited for spwing!"

You can clearly see our dead grass in the backyard. Revive, dangit! It's warm!

Some brand new, tiny buds in the front yard.

Tulips!

Grow some leaves, willow tree!

Come back alive, climbing roses!

Don't look so depressing, asparagus!

The sage is actually looking pretty good considering it snowed thirty minutes before this was taken.

Look! The grass is actually growing!

Oh crap. I think it's snowing again.

Someone gag me.

2010-03-15T14:51:00.003-07:00

I very recently realized that I blab at night. And it doesn't help if I've OD'd on sugar, either.

To my firends, I am desperately sorry. My pitiful being apologizes for my shameless prattle.

To myself....... uh, yeah I probably shouldn't really let myself go like that. Yes, I WOULD rather bottle it up and hide it.

To everyone else--those who have no idea hat I'm talking about: You are blessed.

Golly, I'm such an idiot.

That is all.

I shouldn't post this.

Catching Up.

2010-03-13T13:14:00.005-07:00

I can't believe it's snowing. I was wearing shorts with a sweatshirt yesterday -- it was almost 60 -- and I was planning on wearing them again today but Mother Nature decided to play a hilarious trick on everyone's emotions and dumped wet snow on all of our sprouting tulips.

Oh well. I guess that's the norm for spring in Utah.

Did you know that they're thinking about bringing the Olympics back here again for 2022? Bejiing and Torino and especially Vancouver have all been flops compared to the viewership we had here. It's great because we have an international airport just thirty minutes from most of the venues, a major city next to 14(?) ski resorts, a city rail system, and the best snow on earth. It says so on all of our liscense plates--Vancouver couldn't even compete because they actually had to truck some of the US's snow up there for the Olympics (that's embarrassing). We even have the stars from the Sundance Film Festival.

Did you also know that the earthquake in Chile was so big that it actually knocked the earth a fraction (of a fraction) off it's axis? Now our days are one milisecond longer. That's closer to summer!

It feels like lately everyone has been gone. Flan is on a foreign exchange in Indonesia, Amber is on one in Turkey, Olivia is leaving next year on one probably to Italy... At least Emma is coming home today from modeling in Paris for the past two months. I bet she doesn't even remember what real mountains look like. That'll be a shock when she flys over Cottonwood Canyon--I know what it's like when you drive up there to get to my cabin; it's sort of like claustrophobia because the cliffs from the prehistoric glaciers are so close to you on either side, and so jagged, and so dangerous (even the infamous Devil's Spine sticks out of nowhere as soon as you assume that Provo Canyon is more like collective hills). Just like my stepdad when he first moved here from the east. Ha. He deserved it for doubting.

I learned how to make paper cranes last night. Our community is making 1,000 for my cousin who has lukemia, along with all the other patients in the nearby hospital. Doing the origami is fun, but it's a little impulsive and addicting. There are stacks and stacks of little colored squares ready to fold and the minute you're done with one, there's this irrepressible urge to make another.

Maybe that's just because I'm OCD.

By the way, dreams are weird.

Sometimes, I want to cause a person bodily harm.

2010-03-02T22:17:00.004-07:00

Them: "The official story of 9-11 is full of holes. Take the --"

Me: "Please, stop, because seeing this happen to you is making me die inside.
Conspiracy theories represent a known glitch in human reasoning. The theories are of course occasionally true, but their truth is completely uncorrelated with the believer's certainty. For some reason, sometimes when people think they've uncovered a lie, they raise confirmation bias to an art form. They cut context away from facts and arguments and assemble them into reassuring litanies. And over and over I've argued helplessly with smart people consumed by theories they were sure were irrefutable, theories that in the end proved complete fictions. Those Moon Landing people, the 'Dumbledore's Still Alive' groupies, the Perpetual Motion subculture--can't you see you're falling into the same pattern?!"

Them: "Wait, you don't seriously believe we landed on the moon. Do you?"

Me: *Flees*

The Onion News Network

2010-02-20T13:25:00.003-07:00

Anonymous Philanthropist Donates 200 Human Kidneys To Hospital

I love the Onion. My sister found a book written by them today at the library.

In case you didn't know, the ONN is a fake news website that looks completely legitimate. It's really funny to fake people out with it. My dad was seriously confused for a while when he first saw the website and the bogus titles that were on some of the most recent articles. I'd definately reccomend the video section. :)

A Word Against Posting Song Lyrics as your Facebook Status

2010-02-17T17:37:00.006-07:00

Yeah, you might want to actually THINK about what you post on there. Not just because your grandparents are on there, but because the whole world is on there too. And face it--inside jokes DON'T WORK when you share them with the world.

And SONG LYRICS. Oh, gosh. Please, no more.

You'd be interested to know that my step-dad actually called the police on somebody in another state because of their Facebook status. No joke. He was searching around trying to find old classmates from back east when he found the daughter of one of his friends on there; she had posted something along the lines of "goodbye world" as her status. With good reason, my step-dad reported it. Later the next day the status had changed to a long explanation that she did not hate life and those were just song lyrics. Nice.

That, and it's extremely cliche.

Please, for the world, don't be a poser.

** How you get little kids to eat dinner whilst entertaining yourself.

FEEL FREE TO SKIP FORWARD 20 SECONDS.

Glitter Puke

2010-02-03T17:37:00.009-07:00

I have too many music videos and I need to share some.

So here you go.

FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS -- YES.

This one's closer to rock.... ? Norwegian alternative. Adorable. I love Sondre Lerche -- you may know his music from Dan in Real Live; he did all the music for it.

If you prefer more indie styles and tastes, check out Five Years Time by Noah and the Whale.

Going for more Electro Pop?

If you count Andy Samberg as an artist.....

And of COURSE I'm going to put in Lollipop by Korean BIGBANG and 2NE1. Classic.

Don't believe me? Check out the 9 1/2 million views on this YouTube video. Suck on that, Fred. (wretched show.)

And, finally, one of my favorites. One that will surely crack you up. Ok Go is hilarious, and this is another one of their live (even the band is live in this one) music videos that are taken in one shot.

If that doesn't work, go here.

The Mountain

2010-01-20T19:11:00.005-07:00

The weather strip crinkles against the floor as the door swings shut. I grimace at the iced world around me, standing on the porch and feeling altogether too much like a marshmallow. I know what's ahead of me. Why I keep doing it is still a mystery, even to me.

Every year at my family's cabin, I journey up our mountain to create what I feel is certainly the world's longest sledding run. What was originally a deer trail becomes a perfect half pipe of snow in the winter. It was embraced originally in the sixties by my mother and her siblings, and again when my cousins and I discovered it back in 2003 or 4. It became a tradition for us, and now me, alone. Trek the mountain. Sled down. Repeat. Just because.

A lot easier in words than in practice, I think to myself as I step warily off the porch and into the mounds of snow. Immediately, I sink into the famous Utah powder to my mid-thigh. I force one leg to push forward about six inches, the tip of my tongue protruding from my mouth in effort. Step. Sink. Repeat.

I continue trudging like this through the woods. Our cabin slowly disappears from sight as I distance myself from it. Past the point of no return, I chuckle to myself, and immediately the song from Phantom of the Opera is stuck in my head. Great.

I've brought the sled with me, and I figure out how to use it somewhat as a life raft. It works surprisingly well.

Finally, I make it to the clearing where the end of the luge spreads out. I flop down in the snow, trying to catch my breath. In the distance I hear a familiar little voice calling though the woods. It sounds far enough away to be all the way back at the cabin.

"Hannah! Hannah? HANNAH! Wh'ay-ow awh yoooo?"

It's my four year old nephew, Max. I answer, "Max? Hold on, I'm coming buddy!

And I begin my trek back.

At least it's easier this time because I've already made somewhat of a path--if that's possible in powder, at least.

When I finally get back to the cabin, I see Max just barely standing off of the porch, looking as much a marshmallow as I feel. He earnestly tells me that he wants to come with me, along with some nonsense about having ears (?). I grab his oversized glove over his hand and begin to tow him along.

As I make it off of the road and begin to climb the buildup of snow the plow makes between the woods and our driveway, I hear a second cry of my name. I look behind myself to see Isabelle, a niece. She's big enough to come along herself, I decide, and turn back to my path. For a third time I turn around to hear my name being called. Out of the cabin comes Oliver, Isabelle's 3 year-old brother, and Hudson, Max's 2 year-old brother making their way towards me. I try to grab a hold of each of their little hands, but the effort is so entirely and completely in vain that I give up. The powder is utterly inmanuverable. They wouldn't be able to go down the sledding hill anyway, so the action is pointless. I leave them to play in the front yard snow, which is a bit more compacted. I just work on getting myself, Isabelle, and Max through.

On the way to the clearing, I feel the weight on my hands change. That coupled with a muted thud behind me makes me look around. It seems that Max has completely fallen to the ground and is letting me literally pull him along the surface of snow with a glazed, unabashed look on his face. Whatever.

It takes about twenty minutes to make it back to the clearing. By that time, Max's mom Emily has come out from the cabin and has easily caught up with us. She only has jeans and a parka on along with her Uggs (crazy!) and my grandpa's-ever-present inheritance gift (an expensive camera) that was supposed to go to my mom, but Emily likes to think that she "is borrowing". For 8 months now. :)

Feuds aside, she tells me now about how she plans to get some pictures of us going down the sledding hill. Luckily, when I heard Max first calling me I was wise enough to leave the sled behind. I find it now.

It begins to snow as I look at the luge. There is no flipping way I'm going to get these kids up here when I can't even take them across a level, already treaded path without encountering some sort of mishap.

But you've got to start somewhere, eh?

So I climb.

I make sure to tell the kids to stay behind though. I don't plan on going up the whole mountain right away (that would be MURDER), I just hike up about 30-40 feet and go down to be able to compress some snow into the beginnings of a track. Then I go to the point where I previously stopped, pass it by 30-40 feet, then go down again. That way, I will be able to get more riding time in, and most importantly I won't kill my lungs by trying to force my way all the way up the mountain in one go, then have a sucky ride down. Plus, the compaction makes it easier to climb anyway.

But I'm only working on the first 30-40 feet right now, with the kids and Emily at the base of the clearing.

I don't know why each checkpoint is specifically a checkpoint, but it's been like that for years and I stop instinctively when I see the first one. It's where the little kids start for their own section of the hill.

Here we go.

The first run always stinks. I know that, and expect it. You have to compact the snow well enough the first two times to really get going from then on.

When I make it down, I automatically turn around and head back up. Nobody argues. My family knows the two-run rule. It makes a huge difference.

The second time is a lot better.

When I glide into the clearing, immediately the kids start jumping around--as much as possible in powder--yelling that it's their turn. I grab Max because he is closest and start to pull him up the slope.

After much slipping and sliding, we reach the first checkpoint. I huff as I drop the sled in front of us, struggling to keep it from slipping down the slope on it's own. Originally, I arrange Max in the front of the sled with me behind. Better pictures of Emily's kid, right? I realize, though, that there is nothing keeping the kid from: A. Sliding right off of the sled and B. Keeping the sled itself from shooting down the run. His heavily shrouded hands render him helpless, so I have no choice but to hoist him behind me and tell him to hold on to the best of his ability. I pray that either of us don't break anything. Ironic.

After some pretty good air and decent speeds we come out alive, Max grinning from ear to ear. Emily is a little disappointed that he must sit behind me, but she knows it's the only option. Isabelle looks ready to wet her pants from excitement, so I quickly motion to her to come along up the luge. She eagerly jumps to action. I, on the other hand, feel a little more wary.

The run with her is nice, as before with Max, but with a few changes. It takes longer for us to accelerate, but the speed is a lot better. My mind begins to drift to physics and Newton's 1st law, but I quickly snuffle the thought; procrastinating my homework, of course.

We continue sledding like this for a little while longer. Max goes again, then Isabelle, and while I pile Max on the sled for a third time, I hear down the slope Emily call to me that Isabelle is going inside, and that she herself might as well soon.

The snow has packed down surprisingly well; we shoot down the slope surprisingly fast and I find it hard to slow down and resist banking on the curves. When we are almost at the bottom, we hit a root (or maybe a previously snow buried branch of a tree). Max flies off of the sled while I barrel on, unable to stop. There is a sharp pain in my left middle finger. After I slow down in the clearing, I look back up to find Max somewhere on the track. He is a little shaken, but seems alright enough. Emily attempts to climb up after him in her Uggs and jeans while I stand up. I immediately know some thing's wrong with my finger; I can't move it and it's numb from shock I suppose. I don't say anything for two reasons. First, my family has had WAY too many injuries to comprehend. And, coincidentally second, because of that many injuries to deal with, my family has strangely become way more skeptical when determining who's hurt and who's not. Sadly, when there are mistakes in judging honesty it's usually ME who gets picked as the liar. When I should have had surgery, I was told to just dance the performance 3 days after the initial injury. When I should have gone directly to the hospital, I was taken reluctantly to the Insta-Care (even the name is bad news) where many "doctors" there misread my X-Rays and admitted it, I don't know.... a YEAR later? So I decide to play it down. Don't bring it up. If it turns into something, then I'll give them something to deal with. It's embarrassing if you whine about it in a skeptical family and it's really nothing.

Because it was numb, I decide to ignore my finger. It's not like I could move it a lot in my glove before. Same difference right?

Ha ha.

Wrong, I soon realize.

But, as persevering as ever, I gingerly stand up and get Max down from the rest of the luge with Emily, only putting weight on my right hand. Max was fine on the run, but he did prefer to be taken inside now. Emily takes him by the arm and begins the journey back. I still am baffled at how she's only wearing jeans. No wonder she wants to go in.

Now it's solo time.

I pass my previous checkpoint and continue up the mountain. I almost forget what it's like to have to dig your way through feet of snow, but *luckily* I am given the quick opportunity to reassert it once more.

I come to a stop where I know to. This time, when I set down the sled I make sure none of my fingers are curling around to the bottom of the sled. I keep my left hand palm-down and gingerly slide it under one of the hand straps. Ready?

This time is a lot more fun. I've reached one of the more steep parts, and when I soar down on the surface of the powder, it's literally like those fancy ski commercials where snow sprays everywhere. It's so light that it feels like a strange mix of waterskiing and flying. I smile naturally, and am dissapointed when I reach the bottom. But I can feel something growing inside me now, some memory. Why I do this. It's a litle closer to resurfacing.

I turn back to the hill and head up. This time when I reach the next point, I have to fall down and lay in the snow for a while. My heart is pounding so hard against my ribs I can not only audibly hear it pounding, but can see my light turquoise ski coat shivering along with it. An ominus and slightly creepy thought. The high elevation is hard on even us Utahns.

I look at the snow around me and wonder for a while. There's just so much of it, it's hard to understand. It just won't...go away. It's perfectly immune to melting, no matter how I push it or shift it around. I'm close enough to the flakes to see a peculiar pattern on them today. Normally powder flakes are very small and dry. Today, the top of the snow is strangely glazed over with larger pieces of the thinest ice you've seen, much more thin than glass. Like little ribbed scales. I tell myself to ask my sister-in-law photographer Megan to get a picure of them before they melt back into the norm.

I know I'm close to the top. So I worry less when I see the end of the track approaching. I can enjoy the run instead of dreading the next walk up.

Finally, I reach the summit of our track. I look down the mountain. Our cabin is somewhat in a small bowl between close mountain ridges I see the opposite mountains looming at me. I remember living in New York, and how the people there couldn't understand the jagged, ruggedness of the authentic Rockies. The only word I think to describe them is "majestic" which is unbearably cliche and cheesy, but hey, it's cheesy for a reason right? People use it a lot because it's good. And besides, it's my own thought process, so butt out.

The numbness in my finger has gone, and it's been throbbing since the last three runs. When I move it, sharp pains jab all along my middle knuckle, which I bet is swolen and bruised. I know I've probably caused myself needless extra pain by doing this, and I hope it's worth it. But instead of calculating chances, I focus on the view. It's incredible.

Our cabin is at the very base of the valley, a tiny pinprick of grey tin roof and an organic light green. I cannot fathom how there are many people sitting and talking in there, even smaller than a pinprick. The sky is a perfect, highly sought after light blue. High above in the atmosphere are whiffs of cirrus clouds, untouched by jet planes or factory pollution.

I take a deep breath and look down the track. It's really pretty steep here, and I know that this will be one wild ride.

I settle onto the sled.

One.

Two.

Bliss.

I laugh openly and freely, something I haven't done in a while. My disposition is bubbly and childlike. My finger doesn't hurt, and all of my mundane worries are left at the top of the mountain, forgotten. I can't remember feeling like this for so long.

I only think word as I reach the clearing and bank against buried trees.

Yes.

.....

As one of my favorite writers once said, "I think that there is a metaphor here, but I will let it go unsaid."

The Internet

2010-01-18T17:17:00.005-07:00

I like to think that the internet lets you be who you want to be, but I'm always a little nervous. I often run into people I know on here (even when I'm using a subtle username) and it's awkward to see eachother's comments on YouTube. It's like running into them at the grocery store, as my best friend put it when we had one of these mishaps recently. It's weird.

And seriously, what's with my address here? Sure, it makes it easier for people to find me, but it also... makes it easier for people to find me. Man.

I'd like to think that I'm some kind of caste-system rebel, or self-confidence giant, but I'm definately not. And looking back at some of my older posts.... well I kind of want to delete them.

But I don't! I want to be me, too.

Gah, I don't know.

Encouraging Children, As We Should.

2009-12-29T12:23:00.011-07:00

I love the books that people write that are not really for children, but are made to crack up newlyweds and young adults and horrify parents.

One prime example of this is Shel Silverstein's (Author of When the Sidewalk Ends) Uncle Shelby's ABZs. This book is HILARIOUS.

It's a full book, too. Not just with definitions of each letter, but drawings, game ideas, and even instructions on how to make a policeman voodoo doll.

It would be interesting if that money scenario actually worked.

I would definitely recommend clicking on these pictures to view them and read them easily.

Don't you just love Shel Silverstein?

"...Maybe he will buy you a cowboy suit." (I didn't take these pictures, and I apologize for not being able to find better ones via Google, and I also apologize for not wanting to scan by own book in and get arrested.)

I would DEFINITELY recommend this book. It's a great size and perfect for reading on a rainy day. Or in the case of the Rocky Mountains, snowy/blizzarding day like today. There's nothing bad in it, other than being irresponsible and influential to kids. My mom actually insists in the book being hidden at our cabin in a random cabinet cupboard.

Two of my personal favorite pages that I unfortunately was not able to find pictures for:

....

B is for Baby.

See the baby.

The baby is fat

The baby is pink

The baby can laugh

The baby can cry

See the baby play

Play, baby, play.

Pretty, pretty, baby.

Mommy loves the baby,

More than she loves you.

....

D is for Daddy.

See Daddy.

See Daddy sleeping on the couch?

See Daddy's hair?

Daddy needs a haircut.

Poor Daddy.

Daddy has no money for a haircut.

Daddy spends all his money to buy you toys and oatmeal.

Poor Daddy.

Daddy cannot have a haircut.

Poor, poor Daddy.

See the scissors?

Poor, poor Daddy. . .

Why Our Neighbors Hate Us

2009-12-13T16:31:00.007-07:00

This is what my sister Caroline and I did today with our freetime.

Yes, our mother IS out of town.
I would reccomend clicking on a picture to see the full effect of our work.

Sleep in heavenly peace....

What Happened?

2009-12-10T17:48:00.013-07:00

I was looking through some old Facebook pictures today of the summer with my friends, middle school, and all of the silly things that we used to do and have so much fun together. Some I laughed aloud when I saw, some I remembered, and some made me really sad inside.

We were so carefree, whether it be making a human pyramid at Laird Park, jumping off of my roof, running around in the snow for no reason, or even pretending like we were photographers AND models (that's embarrassing). We were so happy, and accepting of each other. We were our group, our names woven together as one, despite our many differences. Silly notes were passed, ridiculous hand shakes were made, and man, the inside jokes were endless... Together we watched Pam finally fall for Jim, we poured so much of ourselves into the dreadful Clayton Middle School plays, we awkwardly giggled about Emma's first endeavours with boys (and her not being able to admit she was gorgeous) we laughed together at our own stupidity...

You guys were my all. Confidants. Friends. We did everything together, each from different backgrounds, each with different likes and dislikes. An orchestra of personalities, making a symphony of music. We all watched eachother's backs.

Then.

Promises broken. Disturbances.

We're breaking up, aren't we? Is this goodbye?

Please don't leave.

Latest Facination

2009-11-29T20:04:00.005-07:00

That last picture is funny if you've played the game...

INTRODUCING: KINGDOM HEARTS

Released 2002 (Amazing graphics for this year -- Squaresoft known for this)

By Squaresoft (Famous for Final Fantasys)

RPG style, Rated E

This game is SO MUCH FUN! You might notice how the game is supposed to be made with Disney, and immediately decide that you wouldn't want to check it out, but I assure you that they only included Disney so they wouldn't get sued. Disney just jumped in for advertisement, then left Squaresoft alone (wise decision) because they knew they would be able to do it great alone.

The game combines characters and settings from Disney animated features with those from Square's Final Fantasy series. The story follows a young boy, Sora, as he is thrown into an epic battle against the forces of darkness. He is joined by Donald Duck and Goofy, classic Disney characters who help him on his quest.

Kingdom Hearts was a departure from Square's standard role-playing games, introducing a substantial action-adventure element to the gameplay. In addition, it has an all-star voice cast which includes many of the Disney characters' official voice actors. Kingdom Hearts was longtime Square character designer Tetsuya Nomura's first time in a directorial position.

The game was praised for its unusual combination of action and role-playing, as well as its unexpectedly harmonious mix of Square and Disney motifs. It received numerous year-end "Best" video game awards, was a dominating presence in the 2002 holiday season, and went on to achieve Sony "Greatest Hits" status. Our particular borrowed copy of the game has "PS2 Greatest Hits" in gold on the top. Since its release, Kingdom Hearts has sold over 5.6 million copies worldwide and has prompted three sequels. Two more titles are currently being developed, which have a connection to a future, unannounced game.

Sounds like a strange combination, eh? Well, I ASSURE you it is fantastically done. Though it is a bit of a shock to see Goofy and Donald wearing Tokyo pop clothing, it is SO cool to be fighting wraiths in Halloween Town alongside Jack the Skeleton (not to mention wearing an awesome/freaky costume). Even though you no longer care, I will tell you that I just beat the Neverland World, AND learned how to fly (score! Really fun actually).

Let's continue nerding out; this is fun.

For all of you with....underdevoloped attention spans/modern intolerance....I have included a more visual demonstration.

The opening. (Que choir chorus "Ahhhh!")

Don't worry, you get over his shoes really fast (phew).

I thought he was a girl at first too.

Check out the graphics when he flips his hair out of the water... cool.

And that's where you start the game: standing on a giant Snow White stained glass...thingie.

That one blog post that everyone seems to title "Gobble!"

2009-11-27T10:10:00.003-07:00

I hope everyone stuffed their faces this year.

Note to self - do NOT ever again play DDR right after eating Thanksgiving dinner.

At least there's SNL.

Oh, and new Muse CD? SOOOO GOOD!

VENTING SHRINE

2009-11-11T17:46:00.004-07:00

I don't know about you, but I've had a lot on my mind lately. So today's post is what we bloggers call a Venting Shrine. Just post a comment anonymously complaining or blabbing on about whatever it is stuck in your head (NOTHING about Justin freaking Beiber or Taylor Swift PLEASE, so sick of it)--trust me, as long as it's legal, it feels nice to get it out.

Feel free to comment as many times as you like, whenever you like.

What I've Been Feeling Lately

2009-11-04T18:17:00.003-07:00

Once in a while I act like a child to feel like a kid again
It gets like a prison in the body I'm living in
Cause everyone's watching and quick to start talking, I'm losing my innocence
Wish I were a little girl without the weight of the world

It would be nice to start over again
Before we were men
I'd give, I'd bend, let's play pretend

Remember the times we had soda for wine, and we got by on gratitude
The worst they could do to you was check your attitude
Yeah when fights were for fun, we had water in guns,
and a place we could call our own
How we lost hold of home I guess I'll never know

It would be nice to start over again
Before we were men
I'd give, I'd bend, let's play pretend

And when it's the end,
Our lives will make sense
We'll love, we'll bend, let's play pretend
It's not going to be long before we're all gone with nothing to show for them
Stop talking lives, come on let's all grow up again.

Halloween

2009-11-01T10:27:00.004-07:00

I hope we all had a wonderful Halloween. If you didn't celebrate it, boo hoo. Ha! Get it?

Wow.

Okay, moving on.

Everybody better have Trick-or-Treated, regardless of age. As this one old-and-fat-comedian-my-friend-told-me-about-last-night once said, "Sure, I love to Trick or Treat. It gives me an excuse to dress up as a superhero. I personally like to be Cat Woman. *Meow*"

Creepy.

Exactly.

Anyway, let's all enjoy Daylight Savings (yesssss), sleep in, and get cavities. If you can't tell, I already have a sugar high.

I wish I could eat a whole box of Swedish Fish without feeling like I have to shave my tongue afterword.

Happy November.

Dead Fly Art

2009-10-26T19:57:00.006-07:00

Dead bored and grounded? Notice too many dead bugs on your window sill? We have the perfect entertainment for you. And it's art, too!

Just pluck the legs off of any type of bug you want, and draw it doing whatever you want!

And the best part -- No required materials! Everything you need can be found in any house, from mansion to shack.

Search those windows sills, and chop those suckers off!

Fly is fun and personalized...

So start mutilating bugs to keep your mind away from how sucky you feel, today!

Creatures of WalMart

2009-10-17T20:17:00.000-07:00

And this is where we question..... Seriously?! What the crap is going on here? Tying up your shirt and wearing matching, flamboiant, salmon pink shorts doesn't exactly do it for me. Wow.

I've just found this new website (if you already know about this, then whatever.) that has me crying tears of blood. It's called Wal-Creatures. Best part: If you take a great picture, and it gets on the website, we get a $100 gift certificate to Walmart. Score! Heh heh, yeah we all pretend to hate Walmart because it's forming a monopoly with other businesses and stuff, but A HUNDRED DOLLARS?! Who WOULDN'T accept that?

Another great blog like this:
Cake Wrecks

Featured Artist(s) of the Post:
BIGBANG (take two) in Gara Gara Go!

ISN'T IT HILARIOUS how they say "Fo Sho"?! They are so cute when they try to be american. Who doesn't just love hot asians who can dance AND dress well (ironic, after the begining of this post is about embarassing americans)? I like the guy with the red skinny jeans (mmm), and polka dot Nike's. If I ever meet these guys, I'm [dead-seriously] going to steal all of their clothes. See their bio on post below.

Pressure.

2009-10-14T14:25:00.007-07:00

High school. I think everyone cringes when they hear that word.

Isn't it interesting how those four years you live are the most influencial years of your life? Whatever decisions you make in high school will determine how you live for your existence as an adult. Think about it.

And isn't it strange that those are the most hormonal, emotional years?

Sometimes I think that humans are impatient. Which they are. But I'm talking about how from the moment that we're born, information is thrust down our throats. It feels like adults are so anxious for us to be like them in as little time as possible that we're forced into 7+ hour days of schooling. We're shoved through vigorous years of schooling, and then what? 50 years of work. It's a little unproportional. I mean, I'm all for letting a kid think for himself (I REALLY am) but isn't it sad when you see some little kid in elementary school who has an old soul? Who's been forced through so much in life that you can actually see on his outside that too much has been pushed onto him. A kid.

Just look at Marie Antoinette. She was forced into being a queen at the age of 14. She had no choice, and absolutely no experience. She didn't even know what the outside world looked like. Then they got all mad when she sucked at ruling, and had her beheaded. Not a great call there. Come on.

Like I said, I'm all for teaching a kid to think for himself, but sometimes it feels like history and math and even science is a little too much sometimes. How cliche of me, a high school girl, to be saying this; "Parents just don't understand." or the occasional "Leave me alone!" But hey, a saying becomes cliche because it's used a lot, and maybe it's used a lot for a REASON.

I make myself laugh sometimes. Half of my mind tells me I'm a classic teen, and the other half tells that side to shut her mouth. It's pretty distracting sometimes. But that's for another post.

I know that things will be a lot harder when I'm a parent. Harder to sympasize, harder to slow down. But that's why I want to remember what being a child is like. How a child feels, acts, and thinks. One of my favorite TV shows talked about this, how adults sometimes forgot this. I want to remember what it felt like to turn your first flip on the moneybars, or what it was like to loose a toy. Those are feelings that we don't (can't) care about anymore. I'm scared I'm already losing it. But I want to remember them so I can be the best parent possible.

But of course not one of those overbearing, pretending-to-be-a-cool-understanding-teen-lover, parents. That's also a whole 'nother sha-bang. That's not at all how I aim to be.

But I don't want to forget. I don't want to lie and say to myself that I sort of understand and remember what it was like to be a teenager about three decades ago. I want to say, "Hey. I know you're living in a whole different time right now. Things are way different then when I was a kid. But I love you. And this is what I think:" And just pour my heart out, neither forcing nor pretending (really lamely, I might add.)

Will you remember? Do you, reader, feel the pressure too?

Featured Artist(s) of the Post:
BIGBANG & 2NE1 in Lollipop

Bio: 2NE1 (pronounced either "to anyone" or "twenty one" as in the twenty-first century) is a fairly new South Korean Girl Electro-Pop/Hip Hop group. Band Members: CL, Bom, Dara, and Minzy
BIGBANG is another band under the same record as 2NE1 (YG Entertainment), but they are Japanese. Each of the five band members had individual sucess' until their uniting in 2006. They became the new face of YG Entertainment in 2007-8.

Juice Box Make You Feel Better

2009-10-06T18:57:00.002-07:00

I don't care that I'm in 10th grade. I'd much rather have a juice box in my lunch than just get a drink at the drinking fountain.

A Bloggiversary!

2009-10-03T08:01:00.005-07:00

"Happy happy birthday Bloggie, dear.

Hope your posts are better than last year.

If I had a wish, than it would be:

An extra special bloggiversary!"

Aw. How cheesily, yet sweetly pathetic. Written by me. Sort of in third person.

Happy Third, Bloggie. It all goes downhill from here.

Once again...

2009-09-30T17:33:00.009-07:00

We have fallen into the trench of decrepid-ness. That too, and I also noticed that my last post REALLY sucked. Blah.

So, I will give you some excuses:

1. Screw you, AP and Honors Classes, and your 40 pg textbook reading assignments EVERYNIGHT, and test every other day. Seriously -- our ENTIRE grade is based on tests. It really sucks.
2. Pointe classes (info for non-dancers)
3. Job to pay for dance classes
4. Hip-Hop Dance Co. at East High

5. My computer got completely re-formatted after Internet Explorer broke (why I couldn't blog forever)

And now, what's new?

1. I got into Hip-Hop Dance Company and East High. Yeah, there's a gangster inside of my extremely pasty body. We're going to change the name to East High Dance Crew (hah) because we don't want to associate with the East High Dance Company who think that their own little dance of seduction at halftime on Friday was hip-hop. Simple: They dance Beyonce pop-hop, we dance street dance. TOTALLY different scenarios, and I'm glad of it.

2. I figured out how to do the moonwalk in some of my extremely broken in pointe shoes. Extremely broken in is the key here.

3. My right pointer finger has been completely numb for 6 days, and I have no idea why. I can move it and everything, but I just can't feel it. It's extremely weird because I CAN feel the bone, and it feels like I have something stuck to it (aka skin and sinew) and my animal instincts keep telling me that I have to get it off somehow. It's like having a piece of felt super glued to your skin.

4. I have a love/hate relationship with weather in September here in Utah (known for the unpredicticality [that's now a word]) because yesterday it was 85 at two o'clock, and today was 37 at two o'clock. Without warning. Right at the time that I start to walk home from school. No joke, that was the temperature. I even had my SKI coat on and was freezing. And then it started to hail.

5. I miss my friends Amber and Flan who are both on 11 month foreign exchanges. Amber is in Turkey and Flan is in Indonesia. Check their blogs out on my sidebar -- way awesome photos!

6. I designed another website: A for real one! No, like a for real, for REAL one. It manages hundreds of items for sale, has a shopping cart, and is even linked to Paypal! I think I'm going to cry, I'm so proud. It took forEVER. That's one of the main reasons that I haven't been posting on my blog. Check it out -- it's at http://www.naturallyinspiredgifts.com/ You may recognise some of the pictures if you are my friend on Facebook. The website is for my Mom's cousin's buisness. She sells stuff for kids in hospitals, to put it simple. Tell me what you think about it, please! I need feedback. How fast does it go on your computer?

7. I love anime. Ah. Favorites:

#1 Fruitsbasket (aka Furuba [fur-OO-bah])

(the name is after a game that kids play in elementary school (don't you know it? even I played it), but it sorta got distorted in english translation. It has some of the best morals in it, is hilarious, and extremely lovable.)

#2 Kodocha [KAH-doe-cha]

(this one is SO CUTE, but with not as good animation as Fruitsbasket. Ironically, the little boy, the girl, and the guy with the shades are all voiced by actors who are the main characters in Fruitsbasket as well -- they do the english dubbing SO WELL: some of the best voice actors in the world.)

#3 Kamichu [kah-MEE-choo]

(Such a cute style, with a Spirited Away feel.)

#4 Anything Studio Ghibli [JIB-ly] (not including the new and Disney forced Ponyo)

Studio Ghibli has some of the GREATEST movies I have ever seen -- they are so freaking creative! I love: Princess Mononoke [mohn-en-OH-kay], Spirited Away, Howl's Moving Castle, Castle in the Sky.

PS: Anime is NOTHING like stereotypes say. Exibit A: Teen Titans (kids TV show). I was watching this while babysitting and SERIOUSLY--FAKE. Don't trust stereotypes. Just like you don't trust racist or sexist people.

I leave on this note because I want to say that even though I'm in Dance Company, and I dress normal and everything, I don't like to follow normal people. I like to follow my own personality, and I'm not afraid to say what I like or don't like. I don't follow the status quo of my school of "Urban" (dislike that term for Urban Outfitters) and Juicy Couture, and Wet Seal, or just VALLEY GIRL. I'm me. *sticks out tongue* Deal. I just ain't your average ballerina.

Pet Peeves and Drowning

2009-09-08T17:09:00.006-07:00

Reading comments on my posts are always entertaining, especially the ones from my last post (I find the whole Spock thing kinda hilarious, though I know I can't say anything really about that, being as hypocritical as I already am) but I have to say how ANNOYING it is that some posts get comments and some don't. I mean, it shouldn't even BE annoying. I don't even know why it bugs me, really, but let me tell you...

Self-pondering aside, over the years of blogging I've realized that the sparce commenting problem is due to post timing. If I put two posts on within a few days or on the same day, people always read the one on top, instead of checking down what they've missed. This is partially my fault because I'm the one posting and choosing when I want to be internetly-social (now a word), but it partly is YOUR fault, reader.

Like with the last two posts--both put on the same day. The one on top really doesn't even MATTER but people decided to comment on that one. The one below had critical corrections but I doubt anybody read it anyway. Still probably think I'm suicidal or something. Oh gosh.

Okay, done with the ranting--now I want to share one of my favorite websites:

OMGPOP.COM

It's my hero in so many ways. They have this new game on there which is kind of like Guitar Hero on your keyboard called "Hit Machine", and I'm putting one of the music videos on here because I kinda like the song.

My New Boyfriend

2009-09-03T17:33:00.008-07:00

Having been movie-deprived as a child, I am now experiencing the Star Wars movies - 10 painfully long years late.

I have one thing to say.

Mmmmm, Hayden Christiansen is pretty. Mighty fine. He beats your Spock any day.

Corrections!!!

2009-09-03T16:47:00.004-07:00

Hhhhholy cow... I just looked at my blog with fresh eyes and was scared for myself. That was until I remembered that I had written the last post and 'Keep Breathing' wasn't exactly what I had meant to say.

So let me make a correction - I AM NOT GOING TO KILL MYSELF, I'M DEFINATELY NOT INTO THAT KIND OF THING, AND THE POST TITLE 'KEEP BREATHING' HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT.

Well I'm an idiot! I can't believe I put that as the title... Ugh. What I meant by breathing was living. Smiling, going on with you're daily life. Like the song 'Keep Breathing' says.

That probably explains the number of people who came up to me in school and asked me if I was doing okay. Here's how it went:

"Hey Hannah!" A smile.

"Oh, hey _______. How was your summer? Yeah, first day of school is pretty sucky, eh?"

"Yeah..." Smile flickers to polite concern. "H-how are you?"

"Um... Doing great," Now I'm a little confused.

Hand on my back. "I heard you were having a hard time... so I..."

"What?"

"I saw your, you know, post...." Avoids eyes. Voice keeps trailing off.

"Oooooh, yeah. Ha. I can't believe how many comments I got on that. Csh! I admit I'm rather flattered, but I wish I got that kind of response on other posts." Not so worried anymore.

Peer doesn't seem convinced. "So, you're like okay now?"

"YES. Well, if you actually READ the post, I was never DOWN but okay. I'm really fine."

"Alright, if you say so." Glances my way when they think I'm not looking anymore.

I swear, this happened like six times on the first day of school. People! Jeeze. And they really DID put their hand on my back. Well, I guess it's sorta my fault, so that's why I've got to write these corrections...

Also, you may have noticed that my playlist....changed. Durastically. I got in a fight with music and we did a little 'trial seperation' to see if divorce was the answer, but he apologized and so we're getting back together. Expect my old (new) playlist back soon. My favorite music right now is Muse. Gah! Can't get enough of 'Starlight' right now. Told you my music taste varies crazily. Debussy to Muse, ha.

Keep Breathing

2009-08-18T10:54:00.003-07:00

What's going on? Eh, not too much. Cousin diagnosed with leukemia. Puppy getting sold (She's been recently introduced to a shock collar, too.) Autistic brother lost his job. People fighting and arguing around you. School starting again. Trying to work a website for my mother's cousin, but the program broke down and the deadline is getting closer. Summer homework pressure. Dance is taking a complicated step... Had to quit piano. After the major company my mom worked for fell through, my mom is just designing on the side. For neighbors and old clients. Self employed. Sort of.

Yeah, not too much really. I know you can't really tell, but my tone is absolutely 100% not bitter. If anything, it's amused. These things happen. I fully understand that.

But even though sometimes things like to get in the way of life, clogging up our flow and lifestyle, we need to keep breathing. Keep going. Press on. We can be desperately confused, sad, or even livid about how things turn out. But these feelings block us up even more. Anger, envy, and vengeance are all emotions that hurt the people around us, while poisoning us from the inside as well. It's important that we don't let them get inside us, and start to instead detach ourselves from the feeling. Look from a non-biased, positive third party on the situation. Are your trials truly somebody's fault?

This is the part where you breathe. Don't look necessarily towards the future. Just focus on now, if it's too hard. Not only live past this moment, but strive. While you're down, see the others around you who may just be facing a situation as well. Even in the smallest and seemingly unnoticable ways, help them, as you would like them to help you.

This isn't some kind of preaching talk. It's not a lecture to you to be better, or else. I'm just trying to share my experiences. These things have really worked on me. Of course, I still fail at my own stuff sometimes, but that's why we even go to church, or serve others, or forgive. To get better.

Now, when I take stock of my recent dealings of cards, I can see the silver lining of everything. Even though my mom doesn't have a full time job anymore, she's actually at home. I don't think she's been like this since I was.... at least two. Since the divorce. It's crazy weird, how you normal people live. And my step-dad got a promotion at the U, so that's good. I'm also getting some really great dance.......opportunities that I'm not supposed to really talk about, so that helps the pain that I might have to quit someday soon. Also, if my mom is really getting rid of my dog (which she is, see ksl.com) then my step-dad and I are pushing that I might be able to get a baby rabbit of guinea pig. Not everything, but some things are looking up. If you keep your eyes open, and in the right place, you can see the small miracles around you. They're the acorns buried in the ash of a forest fire.

Just trust me, when it gets hard. Keep breathing. Even when it's all you can do, it's still the best thing you can do.

Daydreamer

2009-08-16T14:47:00.002-07:00

I'm a daydreamer. It's really nice sometimes, actually. If you have a long walk, you can just turn on a movie for yourself and sit back to watch. It can be anything and everything that you want to see. Just relax. Observe. See what you're mind comes up with to entertain your attention.

Daydreaming can become an escape. It lets you stop thinking when you don't want to anymore. You watch your own world, not the real world. Sorta like a drug. Hah.

Interesting Childhood Experiences...

2009-08-08T13:11:00.001-07:00

You Know You're White When....

2009-08-06T11:01:00.003-07:00

...You come home from a 2 week vacation in a condo literally on the beach in Oceanside, CA to a sister who asks you, "Why the heck do you not even have a tan?!" Then you show her your previous color ("tanline") and all she can say is "...Oh." And turns away from you.

You know you're white when you sunburn like a squealing pig, too.

Although I did suffer the worst sunburn of my existance on that beach, I endured. It's been probably two and a half weeks since I actually got the burn (first day there, how sucky. I had to wear a t-shirt the rest of the time there in the water and felt like a shmuck.) but I'm STILL red. I'm not joking. It doesn't hurt really anymore, it just itches like mad, but before...heh. Wow. It literally felt like every NERVE was a live wire, and even the lightest touch hurt SO FRIGGIN BAD. Not so good to be that burned with also a combination of a dad's habit of patting his hand on your back every THIRTY seconds.

HOW CAN IT BE AUGUST ALREADY? I have summer homework to do still, I'm dancing 5 1/2 hours a day, working to pay for all of that, doing chores, working on other jobs like making my mom's cousin a fullblown buisness website with seriously hundreds (3) of items to be linked with PayPal, and I go out of town every other week. LET ALONE maintaining a blog. My personal website hasn't been touched since... I don't even know. I have no idea how I'm going to make it to the school year.

That's why I'm trying out some new backgrounds and things on my blog. I'm ready for the new. My blog is so depressing I actually decided to NOT name my post "So Sad..." Like I have a billion times when I haven't posted in eight years. It's sort of like if you see a dead, really REALLY rotting various animal on the side of the road that you decide is so..... dead that you don't bring it up to your family.

Okay, so that wasn't the best analogy.

I'm just going to try again. As I have so many times already. But hey, the train made it, right? With all that chugging, he totally tackled that hill. He probably has some serious lung capacity.

Widget!

2009-07-23T08:09:00.003-07:00

I made a widget! Over here ----------------------------------------------->

Yay! I didn't make it from those little sites that are all "make a free counter" or anything, I actually made it. Took a while, though.

Sorry that the writing is so small, it was hard to get it all to fit in that sidebar, which I didn't even completely manage, as you see the right side is cut off.

You also probably think that it's ironic for me to have an email-link widget over there, when you can just comment on a post... but hey. Some people might not want their comment to be seen by everyone. Or if I haven't been checking my blog for ages and you want to yell at me a bit... I can respect that. Besides, it's not like it gives out my email to the whole world--which is quite handy, if I must say.

I feel so bad that I haven't posted in...uh...more than a month, but I do have a long post in my drafts that I will get published. :)

Ideas, discoveries, recognitions, attainments....

2009-06-18T11:17:00.005-07:00

Whatever you want to call them, due largely to the lack of upkeep on this blog, I am going to post some simple thoughts I've been having lately.....

IS ZELDA AND THE OCARINA OF TIME NOT THE BEST GAME EVER INVENTED??? It's freaking amazing. How do I live during the hours that I'm not playing it? In close second and third and forth are Harvest Moon, Final Fantasy, and Super Smash Bros. Overall, I have to say that Nintendo and Blizzard are the best game-makers out there. Viva la 64!
Counting off, all the kids in my family are married now! WEIRD. I mean, I have a big family. I always have just assumed and percieved myself as 6 years old, and marrige and or even highschool was eternities away. Just go watch DragonTales or something on TV and you're all set! But, now it's just Caroline and I who are left...... ahhhhhh!
How lucky are we really to live in America? I mean, when my brother was in Rio de Janerio we would try to send him little things in the letters to keep him happy (like Koolaid Packets--Hey, he really liked them!) but it always happened to be the letters that we sent with goodies never reached him.............. *cough*
DANG YOU WIRELESS MOUSE! Now I have to use my mom's computer (the amazing one, of course.) which I'm not entirely complaining about except it has none of my music. The mouse on Caroline and my computer died AGAIN and while I was updating my iPod library, cutting here, adding there, making playlists... But I didn't finish, so my iPod is completely lacking in everything except, let's face it, techno, Enya, and french rap. Ouch.
Why are resolutions so HARD? It sounds so easy to just say to do _____ every day during the summer, but NO.
School's out! Even though through a terrible fluke through the public school system (dang you also) I got only 4 signatures in my forty-freaking-five-dollar yearbook, it's all cool. I get to now run in the rain, jump in puddles (not denying it), and leave tens of extremely long messages on my friends' voicemail while they're out of town. It's a party.
When I'm not working. I have SO MUCH TO DO. My mom has been advertising all about the website I built for her buisness, so I have to build three more in this month. That's not counting the summer homework, dance programs, hours of chores a day, babysitting for family and neighbors, dog training....etc. That's why this blog is so sad. I'm trying to manage my time as best as I can, while also fitting in all the calling and getting muddy-ness.
Planning... I'm going to have a birthday party up at my cabin on July 7th and 8th. I have a lot to do in that area too. Dang. I just remembered.
Remembered has a LOT of E's.
Rich people suck. I mean really, what do they DO with all their time? Do they just sit around, stare at their housemaids, drink tea, reorganize their personal library, and donate to causes? All of this rant is supposed to make me feel less jealous. Oh well. Long live middle class. We all know it's worse for a lot of people, and I'm not saying I'm not greatful for what I've got.
I'M ADDICTED. To reading.
Speaking of addicted, my mom is postive that soap operas are an epidemic across America. No joke. She won't even let us watch 5 minutes of one while we work.
The music on my playlist (bottom of page) is really not music that I listen to normally. If it all was on my iPod, I think that it would all have to be put under a playlist called "Nice, Pleasant, Reading Mix".
I'm going to have to write a #14 on my list because it's bad to end on 13.
Not that I'm superstitous or anything, cause I'm not. There are those crazy people out there who won't live on floor 13 in a appartment building like the Friendship Manor, so the owners are forced to disconnect the 13 button in the elevator and call the 13th floor the "14th".
Though some tracking systems that I have on my blog, I see that people from all over the world have looked at my blog. Why? I don't even know how Pam found my blog...(QUE FOR ENLIGHTENMENT IN MY COMMENT BOX) It's so weird. Once in a while you get weird comments from random people who all you can say to is "Who the heck are you??"
Interior Designer Mom: Plus side- Cool house. Down side-literally THOUSANDS of fabric samples!!!!!!! I'm going to stab someone in the neck if I have to organize another scrap of Hickory Chair "silk heaven".
I really need to study the driver handbook! Hopefully I'll get my permit really soon, yay driving!

I think I'm going to have to stop now. My brain rejects thinking about all that I have to do. Ugh. Baby steps. Blog, now done! Move on to......... chores. Yaaaaaaaaaay.

Me? Nerd? Seriously?

2009-05-18T18:04:00.004-07:00

Yeah, okay. I guess I'll allow that one. I'm a nerd. After all, I am the one out of my friends who can write in HTML, make my own websites, who fixes other's computers. It's in my blood. My brothers are computer programmers (even though Hamilton is a sk8Tr too, weird mix.) and I hope to go into graphic design or computer advertising, or even web design. One girl yesterday actually demanded to find out why I was so "good at drawing in Microsoft Paint."

????

But do I see myself truly as a nerd? No. I see myself as...me. Au naturale. Complete. But, it's strange how perspective plays a seperate role in everyone's life. Each brain thinks in it's own unique way, and sees in it's own different patterns. It's practically untraceable (weird to say that out loud), the rate that people think. It really amazes me how our thoughts are somehow immediately linked to others. I have no idea how to describe what I mean, (another weird brain thing) so I'll switch subjects.

But yes, perspective.

A friend put in nicely one day a few months ago--she probably doesn't remember this--but maybe it's a hidden blessing sometimes that I get grounded to my house so often (another LONG story to tell. I swear my mom can be quite tempermental at times. It's not my fault!!!) because in the time that people can spend socializing, I continue to move forward. My brain whizzes and whirrs contemplating not only music and acedemics, but psychology and even politics. It really sucks sometimes, it seems like I can never turn it off for a while. But that's just my personality. That's how I think. I'm inquisitive, curious, and at times obsessive over true meanings of things.

So, maybe others see me as a bit of a nerd, while others at first glance see me as a prep (WHY??). I don't care. I'm me. There is nothing they can do. I'm proud of the hours and hours and HOURS that I read and write. And I'm proud of my talents. I'm proud of my years and years of piano, even though sometimes I say I hate it. I'm proud of me.

But as a post note--what's with the modernizing world? It seems like one day I'm in my land, then people start to latch on, act cool, and get their own websites and such. It makes me...upset sometimes. Like my own corner of "special" is being distributed around to clutchy, harried people who don't know how to use technology. Don't get me wrong! I love those people, they are great. It just...worries me. I don't know. Agh, here's an anology. I got a blog. Quite a while ago. I wanted to express myself to... virtually no one, keep a diary for myself. Look back upon what I was thinking 3 years ago. How I was feeling. People looked at me funny sometimes when I would mention a blog, or my font, or my website (I acutally wrote my first one in 6th grade. Can you believe that? I did it the hard way, too. My brother hosted it on his server for a while, he was so nice...) but I wouldn't mind. I'm a mix-y person. I look like a prep (GRR.) but in another layer I'm a nerd, and in the center, I'm me. Me. Overthinking, deep, wondering me. I liked being diverse. I liked having to always leave class in elementary school to go to ELP. But, suddenly, my own diversity is snatched from me. All of my friends have blogs now. My own 'corner' now is being split. Divided. I would even go as far as to say Americanized.

But if people are slowly becoming what I thought I was, who am I anymore?

Speaking Words of Wisdom

2009-05-06T19:35:00.005-07:00

Don't you love it when somebody says something that just makes you think and think about the things that you've never even once considered? That makes you open you mind a little wider, lets you see the world outside of your window?

Well, today seems the day for everybody I know to speak incredible words of wisdom (que Beatles song). Can I quote a little?

From Emma's blog:

Did you ever think you may know someone their whole life and never really KNOW them? I mean there are so many secrets we hide and just kind of stash away and hope no one notices. Everyone just goes around pretending like life is fine and stuff, even though we all know that this is going on. And then some people are so concentrated on keeping up their image and facade that they don't notice that other people even have these masks we wear to hide even bigger things. Yeah, we all pretend that we are all "true to ourselves and everyone else" and stuff, but are we REALLY that way? I mean i know a ton of people (who will remain anonymous and who probably wont ever read this anyway) who act like they're all up front with everything and then you find out (through a long and complex process most likely) that they wear so many masks, THEY don't even know who they are and its just a total mess. I mean, I wear masks too, I'm not gonna lie about it. I'm not saying that there's some magical solution to it all or anything. I'm just trying to say the brutal truth about the thing that everyone else likes to pretend doesn't exist. I mean admittedly there are a lot of blogs about facades out there, but has anyone really admitted to wearing one themselves? Because it kind of seems like this is a thing that people likes to blame on others when everyone has one.

From Pam's blog:

In comparison with the universe, humans are very small. I mean, you might think Texas or Russia is big, but it's not. The entire earth in fact, is a mere grain of sand in the vast emptiness of space. Truthfully, if the universe is never ending, we're even smaller than that. But it doesn't feel like that all the time. Sometimes it seems as though the world is crashing all about you, and your problems seem to fill up all that empty space. In (my) theory however, if the universe has no bounds any one point in it could technically be "the center of the universe". Maybe that's why it's so easy to sometimes feel as though we are.

From Flan's blog:

Are we all pregnant??

You may be wondering why I would put this, but honestly, there has GOT to be some reason for all of this teen-angst-drama. It's either that everybody is pregnant at once, or it's just high school. Personally, I'm thinking the first. Which is why I also share from Gracie's blog:

boys.

they suck. big time. is it just me, or do ALL boys seem to be PMS'ing ALL THE TIME?! maybe it really is just me, who is being an over reacting baby, but honestly, WHAT THE HECK???

I think Grace framed that quite nicely. Took the words right out of my mouth.

HOORAY!!!

2009-05-06T19:09:00.005-07:00

One one bleak afternoon, I got on to my blog to only hear one song - "You've Got a Friend in Me (Walt Disney)". AHHHHHH! I mean, I like Disney and stuff, but WHERE did my MUSIC go? I was REALLY mad.

So, I've had to redo my ENTIRE playlist. . . . Which I have procrastinated for quite some time now. I bet you readers were actually extremely pleased when my playlist died, not having to wait for it to load any time that you wanted to read my [brilliant] posts. Or letting it crash your computer.

So, sorry for all of you people who now would like to run a knife through their most precious internal organs - I've officially recronstructed my entire playlist. I don't have near as many songs as I had, but I think it's nice and slim. Good selection.

Hey, I'm happy. Enjoy!

A Corn-ocopia

2009-04-24T17:52:00.004-07:00

Sometimes, I think my mom is insane. Eccentric and touched, but harmless. Depending on your perspective.

Her latest fling was creating a vegetable garden DREAM in our backyard. For weeks (I tell you) we've been planting, ordering, seeding, buying, tilling, painting, staining, watering, and in my mom's case, severely sun-burning. But that doesn't stop her! She works day and night, in sleet and snow, and through complaints of her unhappy children. Most just call it learning to ignore.

As of tonight we have the following planted (drum roll please):

Carrots, beets, turnips, nine Brussels sprout bushes, two kinds of lettuce, spinach, mint, parsley, rhubarb, peas, more peas, giant tomato plants, three kinds of bell peppers, Greek oregano (intoxicating smell), sage, rosemary, chives, string beans (yellow kind and green kind), cucumber, and soon to be corn, zucchini, and squash.

Wow, I don't know if I'll ever be clean again. I've planted SO much today.

So, so sad.

2009-04-14T10:18:00.004-07:00

AHHHHH! My blog is decrepid! It's derelict, dilapidated, destroyed. I can't believe that I've let all of this come to.....this. This lack of upkeep, lack of voice.

Then I shall post!

What's been going on.....hmm... Well, I guess I'll start with the beginning.

When I last posted, I mentioned me being a lead in a play. What I really meant was, I was a lead in a play. Easy as pie. The play was called "Alice", one of five student-written, student-directed, student-performed one act plays in a festival called "Take 5". "Alice" was about a girl who goes to therapy, and explains her life's troubles through fairytales. It's really hard to explain in a nutshell like that, but it's a REALLY good play. Well written. I was the therapist, I actually played a big part, mainly as an antagonist in her fairytales -- my favorite being the mad hatter in the final tale.

My play was a blast. I made so many friends - seniors, juniors, everyone. But another play didn't have as much fun. "Bible Camp", a HILARIOUS comedy written by one of my best senior friends, Coco Mack, was completely canceled on closing night. The day of, directors were notifyed by our administration (grrr) that the cast wasn't allowed to perform their final night. People were in shock, it was during school that they found out. Finally, by the end of the day "Bible Camp" was able to perform if and only if they changed their ENTIRE play to "Wizard Camp". Costumes had to be altered, lines had to be removed or rewritten.... It was utter chaos. A news group actually came and interviewed us, read their story here. Man, way to knock out our rights to perform and freely speak in one blow. Everytime that somebody gets up there on that stage, they're at risk of being offended at, booed, etc. Obviously, our administration hasn't seen any of the Monty Python plays. Those still run, they are funny. People love them. They can choose to be offended. But us kids? We are devoid of those rights.

Which brings me to the attention of how minors don't really even have rights in the first place. What happens when we talk to our parents, and they disagree or don't want to hear it? We are told to shut up. No rights there. We must follow whatever they say, there is no way of revolution or changing of laws, no peacable assembly or even rioting of our government. When you really think about it, the only right that we have is the right to not get beaten. Nice. Family is a dictatiorship, it's a bubble in our constitution. Does that seem right? Give us a little more, will you?

This week, a TOTAL prep asked me if she was a prep. She framed her question in a way that was timid, but set prep-ness in a bad light. What do you say to that anyways? Do you tell her the truth, but run the risk of hurting her feelings? I seriously don't know, and that's what I told her..... um...?

Heh heh, yeah so I'm starting to think that our school being the official "East High: Home of the Wildcats" (inside AND out) is not that bad of a burden as it has once seemed. We get tourists in almost every day hoping to see the auditorium, our giant leveled lunchroom, Sharpay's pink locker...etc. [Seriously though, just wander through the whole school! They filmed everywhere.] I actually gave some chinese people a tour last week or so, and they gave me 15 bucks! Score! But, I am sad to report that they WILL be back. I am 90% sure that Disney will be making a High School Musical 4. They just put up a ton a weird decorations again, like banners and planters covered with the generic red and white... My geography teacher says that the producers told the faculty to count on them returning soon, and I think that this day is pretty much here. I mean, our school doesn't really care (except for the students really) because they always buy us new sound systems and cool banners (the ones from the third movie are ALL still there), and just recently (again, third movie) they broke all of our bleachers in the big gym where all of Troy's (gag) basketball games are held evidently from "too much dancing" on them. So, they bought us new bleachers. Talk about redistributing wealth, it rocks. My gym teacher is trying to auction off the real wood planks in the movie on eBay. Watch as they are sold to several creepers hoping to hold them close and sniff them... Don't scoff. It's true. I've seen them in real live. Like EVERY. DAY. at school.

Well, I'm sick of typing now and I don't want to think of school during spring break, so I'm going outside to soak up some sun. And probably jump off the roof onto the trampoline like I did relentlessly yesterday.

Sharing the Love

2009-03-03T16:06:00.030-07:00

Well SORRY you guys, I've been busy... I have a life you know.... I can't post on my blog every three seconds (*cough* Cherrybomb)... Just kidding. I have been busy. I'm the lead in a play and I have a bit on my plate right now. Wow, I can't believe that I just said that. That sounds like somebody's dad looking over his evening paper at the kid asking for something. Gross. Now I'm an old man...

Well, instead of droning on about slightly depressing subjects such as the latter, I am going to move onto healthier light. Ah, yes, "Sharing the Love" as it is. For some strange idea I want to tell you about my favorite artists. Music artists, so to say. I know weird - I was half awake while wondering in circles about what I should blog about...

So let's start with the basics! Open your iTunes and pull out your credit cards because this price list is going to be hefty. Not to mention this post... sorry if this takes your computer forever to load. There is a link under every artist, so if they look or sound interesting, you can try them out. I would reccomend right-clicking to "open in new tab (or window)" if you have Windows.

And now, in no purposeful order, I introduce:

ADELE

Favorite Song(s): Daydreamer, Hometown Glory

Adele has such a new voice, it's so unique. She has the most incredibly thoughtful lyrics and a cute voice. Her songs are what I call "Lay back and breathe deep songs." To hear Adele, click here: don't worry - it's not a YouTube video or anything.

SHINY TOY GUNS

Favorite Song(s): Le Disko, Don't Cry Out

They are also a new artist with a fun beat and great melodies! Click here to listen to them.

BASSHUNTER

Favorite Song(s): Russia Privjet, DotA

Swedish techno anyone? This guy is AMAZING. I love it. Click here to hear him.

KEANE

Favorite Song(s): Bedshaped

This group also has really thoughtfull lyrics. You should give them a try, they are really cool! Click here for their website.

ANNIE

Favorite Song(s): Chewing Gum, My Best Friend, Heartbeat.

Don't mistake her for Shirley Temple! She is from Norway and has a real nice voice - and she can SING! It seems that pop artists can't even do that anymore.... Click here to hear her.

CLAUDE DEBUSSY

Favorite Song(s): Claire De Lune, La Fille

Freaking genius. That pretty much sums it up. Click here for him!

THE DAVE MATTHEWS BAND

Favorite Song(s): Satalite, Crash

This band always reminds me of my brother.... Guitar with great lyrics. Click here!

PARAMORE

Favorite Song(s): Decode, That's What You Get

This is NOT and EMO BAND! I like them. They're good! Click Here!

MUSE

Favorite Song(s): Supermassive Black Hole, Hysteria

Great. Great, great, great. Click here!

DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE

Favorite songs(s): Lack of Color, Passenger Seat, Crooked Teeth

Listen to them if you're sad. Don't when you're happy. It's....well. Just listen to them, then judge. Here!

ANNA NALICK

Favorite Song(s): Breathe, Next Best Thing

Creative lyrics, nice voice. Click here to listen!

JASON MRAZ

Favorite Song(s): Wordplay, The Remedy

Good, funny, and fast lyrics, nice voice. Here!

OK GO

Favorite Song(s): Here We Go Again

Remember the guys who danced on the treadmills?! Well, here they go again. Click here to hear them!

LADY GAGA

Favorite Song(s): Starstruck, Poker Face

Hey, I knew her BEFORE she was all famous. She's good. Here!

EMMY ROSSUM

Favorite Song(s): Slow Me Down

She sung for the movie The Phantom of the Opera when she was 16, AMAZING singer, her song "Slow Me Down" was completely a cappella, too. Here!

ENYA

Favorite Song(s): All of them!

Nice songs, kind of like lullabyes. Here!

FROU FROU (AKA IMOGEN HEAP)

Favorite Song(s): All of them! Really, they're all great.

Cool voice, cool style. Here!

INCUBUS

Favorite Song(s): Um... All of them also??

Click here to hear them!

JET

Favorite Song(s): Look what you've done

I wouldn't say that they were cute songs, but they.... I don't know. Just listen to them if you want. Click here!

JOHN MAYER

Favorite Song(s): The Heart of Life, No Such Thing, Why Georgia, 3x5, 85

I love his voice, it's not 'grating' (spelling?), but it's soft and whispery. If calms you. Try him out here.

LILY ALLEN

Favorite Song(s): Shame for You, Knock 'Em Out, The Fear

She's a british singer who has the funniest lyrics! Cute style and choice of words. Here!

MAROON 5

Favorite Song(s): If I Never See Your Face Again, Litte of Your Time, Makes Me Wonder

My brother introduced me to them a while ago, and I really do like them. Adam Levine has a creative voice. Click here!

NELLY FURTADO

Favorite Song(s): Like a Bird, Maneater

She's a Brazillian singer with a beautiful accent. I've known and liked her since I was in 2nd grade. Here she is!

NATASHA BEDINGFIELD

Favorite Song(s): Wild Horses, Pocketfull of Sunshine, Unwritten

She also has very creative lyrics, and a pretty voice. Click here to listen to her music.

O-ZONE

Favorite Song(s): Dragostea Din Tei (the Numa Numa Song)

Have you seen the famous video? Click here to listen to their other songs.

ONE REPUBLIC

Favorite Song(s): Apologize, The Way I Are

They're just cool songs, ok?! Listen to them!

P!NK

Favorite Song(s): Sober, Stupid Girls

She has funny, but true lyrics. Nice voice and great beat. Click here.

REGINA SPEKTOR

Favorite Song(s): The Call, all of them, really.

She has the sweetest voice, the cutest person. Click here for her many songs.

YAEL NAIM

Favorite Song(s): New Soul

She, like Regina Spektor, is really cute. Her songs are beautiful. Especially New Soul. Click here for them.

WEIRD AL

Favorite Song(s): Amish Paradise, You're Pitiful, All of them!

You know you like them. Especially his movie [clips on the link]. Click here for his songs.

THE VERONICAS

Favorite Song(s): Untouched

They have such cool music videos! I love this band. Click for their songs.

ALICIA KEYS

Favorite Song(s): (As I Am) Intro

Her songs are so nice and beautiful... Try her out.

***********************************************

Everyone I left out: The Beatles, The Fray, Mika, Black Eyed Peas, Of Montreal.

As you may have noticed, my music preferences differ drastically. I just like any song that has a good beat and makes me happy. Or sad. Just anything that has a deeper meaning, thoughtfull lyrics, and really makes you feel a certain emotion...

Just because I'm an idiot and want to bring wrath to you all, I want to know what CHERRYBOMB, EMILY H., OLIVIA K., FLANNERY M., and CAROLINE H. like to listen to. So, you five, get to work. NOW. Muhahaha, why I do feel quite evil tonight.

Look at this music video -- it's really cute.

I've been FRAMED!

2009-02-09T12:35:00.007-07:00

This little 3 and a half year-old boy isn't as innocent as he looks. He loves to steal people's phones, he knows EXACTLY how to find the games on anyone's computer, and he loves playing with iPods.

This particular incident happened in January, but I'm still fuming over it. I was walking through our hallway upstairs when I saw Max crouched in the corner holding my mom's phone. Oh great, what is he doing now, I think as I instinctively reach for the screen. My eyes fall upon a familiar game that was being played: Bejeweled. We've all played it. This would have been no big deal and such if I hadn't known for a fact that my mom's phone DIDN'T have Bejeweled installed on it. Max had bought it.

Now hold your judgements! I would like to say that it WAS possible and it DID happen. All you had to do to install that particular game was push:
Center Button: open menu
Center Button: open media center
Center Button: open Get Fun & Games
Center Button: open Get New App.
Center Button: open Featured Games

And it just so happens that Bejeweled (being the most popular cell game of all time, next to Tetris) is at the top of the list. Push the center button to "Suscribe Monthly Fee". After the game is installed, push--guess!--the center button to "Run Now".

Trust me on all of this - I actually CHECKED. I brought the phone out to the living room where everybody was chatting after dinner. "Hey look you guys, Max bought Bejeweled on Mom's phone!" Of course, NOBODY believed me. Emily didn't even look up; "Don't try and blame it on the little 3 year-old, Hannah. We all know you did it." I got dry chuckles and faint yeah-rights from everybody else in the room - except my mom, who of course demanded immediatly that she didn't care who put it on, but needed it off that very SECOND.

I stuttered, trying to tell everybody that they had it wrong, but I was shewed away like a dog who had rolled in something that would make your grandma blush. I then looked up the evidence on her phone after safely removing the application.

HE FRAMED ME. That little kid FRAMED ME.

Watch this: http://www.hulu.com/watch/43172/the-office-role-playing#s-p3-st-i1

Boredom at My House

2009-02-05T18:30:00.003-07:00

www.OneTrueMedia.com

Truly sorry for my...strange-ness... Truly sorry folks. I made this on Saturday with my friends and sister Caroline.

Publicity, Publicity

2009-01-20T15:24:00.004-07:00

Well, haven't I gotten the advertisment lately! Thanks to a post by Rusti, I recieved quite a few comments of my bloggy fury (as of now, that is officially an adjective) on the subject of Vanessa Hudgens' acting return. Well, that was flattering of them. So after brushing off my pants, blushing, and wringing my hands a little, I have decided to share a little love.

If you want to read laugh-out-loud funny quotes from my sister's insane physics teacher (name remains anonymous), check out Tell Us Another Joke! You might just pee your pants.

Want some head spinning, totally awesome thoughts and reflections? Check out Cherrybomb to hear some pretty cool and inspiring posts of a girl around my age.

My sister Caroline also has a blog called Whatever, that has fresh, funny occurences of her day, ranging from embarrasing Secret Santa gifts to 30 minutes chats with our piano teacher - completely about Top Ramen. You will have to learn to look over her gramatical errors and lack of capitalization (shudder), sometimes I'm not even sure she's related to Emily and I.... (cringe)

If you want to listen to sweet ongoings of a kind sister-in-law of mine, check out Up Came The Sun. She is the one who made the recent post of my own anger against VH.

My other sister, Emily (the oldest girl) has a hilarious voice that will make you grin as you read her blog, There Is Beauty All Around.

Want to hear about the most famous fashion industries? Check out Attraction Pour La Mode to hear all about Gucci, Oscar de la Renta, etc., run and managed by my friends Olivia and Flannery. They each have their own blogs, The Olive Tree and The Wild Fern, each with their own unique writing style and fun included.

If you want to hear cute, innocent ramblings of two 7th graders check out When The Violets Come Out, administrated by Chloe (Olivia's little sister) or The Legend of Harper run by Sage (real name, Harper) who is Flan's little sister.

Woo, that was confusing. There are others, but I'm too lazy/uncreative to type more on the subject. Check out the entire compiltion on my blog list.

Now, before you leave, I'll leave you with one last thing to bore you with:
My mom, impersonating "The Hulk" in Cranium. Priceless.

Jumping to Classics

2009-01-17T13:55:00.003-07:00

My piano teacher has decided that this year we will focus on classics. Heh. Yay. I'm really scared of classics, just so you know. You can spend months mastering a particularly brutil piece, but the sucky part is that it sounds so EASY. So when you have played it all the way through and turn to a peer to get some review, all you get is, "Really pretty, Hannah." versus persay, I don't know, Dancing on the Berlin Wall (my assignment a few months ago) where you get something much...more (see link to hear what I mean. It's crazy. And bipolar.)

Yeah, so I'm really worried. This is going to be a tough year. The songs (just for your boredom, or if you want to look them up and hear them) are:

Warm up - Original Fur Elise, Bach
Praeludium II, Bach *see video at top
Invention I, Bach

As you can see, we're really nailing out the Bach right now. Whoopee.

My goal for the year is to master this piece - it's INCREDIBLY hard. See Clair de Lune. If you haven't watched any of the other videos, watch THIS ONE. You will immediately be calmed down.

Oh my GOSH!

2009-01-13T16:57:00.004-07:00

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NEVER EVER!

N - O - NO!

According to The Twilight Lexicon, rumors have been flying about the 'did-or-didn't-Vanessa-Hudgens-audition-for-New-Moon' incident. See the evidence HERE. I actually screamed my fury out in my room seconds after I read the post, to the intensly alarmed expression on my cat's face. I actually punched my pillow, too - something quite extrordinary seeing as I'm a usually non-violent person (exception, to my sister). If Vanessa Hudgens is picked for Leah Clearwater, I will go insane. Well, more insane than I am now. I will buy the DVD just to BURN IT. I will skin a small and furry animal. I will spit in a little old lady's face. I will DIE!! VANESSA HUDGENS CANNOT, ABSOLUTELY AND INFINATELY WILL NOT TAKE ANY PLACE IN 'NEW MOON'!

The absolute worst part of it all though, is that I can actually see her as Leah Clearwater. I hate myself for that, indeed.

The Ten Commandments of Weight Loss

2009-01-09T15:29:00.005-07:00

I. Thou shalt honor thy health and happy, happy thoughts above all else.
II. Thou shald not work the vending machines: therein lieth the way of madness.
III. Thou shalt not steal bites from thy neighbor's plate.
IV. Thou shalt not eat when thine eye lusteth but when thy stomach doth supplicate for sustenance.
V. Thou shalt sup chiefly on the fruits of the earth, the grains and vegetables thereof, on the fowl of the air and the fish of the seven seas, whence cometh not doughnuts.
VI. Thou shalt not eat when thou art feeling sad, for food is not a medicine unto the soul. Thou shalt hug thyself instead.
VII. Thou shalt take exercise daily; for why hast thou sinew and bone, legs and sneakers?
VIII. Thou shalt not eat in front of thy TV.
IX. Thou shalt delight in every good word and good song and good day.
X. Thou shalt keep these Commandments, if thou wants to fit into thy new jeans.

These are the words posted on the Sonshine Valley Cafeteria Wall, (whose motto is 'What Would Jesus Eat?') which is a fictional Christian fatcamp in a book that I read called Scrambled Eggs at Midnight. The book is young adult genre and is HILARIOUSLY FUNNY,

...but I don't want to take the time to give you a summary because I just wrote a huge essay on it and am sick of typing in school language. Go google it if you're so pushy/curious/gullible. But I do think that's a good model for a new year's resolution.... but I can't follow it. Food is my FRIEND. I tell myself sometimes at Sizzler buffets that I could never be anerexic or vegetarian. Sorry you guys, but I just love MEAT. Mmmm....Steak. ^_^ No, but really, it's good that I have a high metabolism/take so much outside-of-school dance/am such a spaz that I can burn all them food cals off.

Wow, that was a side track. But anywho every post from hereforth I am going to type at least one luxury and one thing that sucks (preferably something that I've experienced within that week), because well, it's amusing. For me...and...for me. That's taking account for all of my *cough* readers.

LUXURY:

1. Putting the first knife into a fresh peanut butter jar.

2. When sucking up to teachers works.

SUCKS:

1. Opening the wrong end of a cereal box.

2. Trying to shake a pillow back in it's case, but grabbing the wrong end to shake.

3. Blisters.

As you can see, I've already added a larger list to the sidebar.

PS. I have just starred in a amazing model shot taken by my sister Emily (click on her name to see her blog) and I thought it was so candidly amazing that I'm posting it here:

I'm on the far left. Yeah, when my mom saw that she gave me quite the scolding, saying I ruined a cute family picture. Well, c'est la vie, it's too late now.

And also, I've finally decided to expose my mad love affair with the Maytag man at the Park City Home Depot...

Real MEN are made of cardboard.

Text-To-Speech

2009-01-08T20:52:00.002-07:00

Heym I know that this is a really short and confusing post, but go to THIS WEBSITE and click on the little button that says "Say It". I've written you a message in a special....'code'.... anyways, just check it out then experiment as much as you want. It's SO MUCH FUN. And quite addicting, too.

Seattle

2008-12-26T17:36:00.003-07:00

IT WORKED!

Yay! I'm so happy! Just everybody know, there is a story with every picture, and if nothing makes sense, then just comment and I'll tell you the meaning.

A 1977 JC Penny Catalog

2008-12-26T16:32:00.012-07:00

I'll be giving the credit for this post to another blog -- but it's TOTALLY blog worthy. Just spreading the message.

Last weekend I put an exhaust fan in the ceiling for my wife's grandfather. While my wife's brother and I were fitting the fan in between the joists, we found something under the insulation. What we found was this:

A JC Penney catalog from 1977. It's not often blog fodder just falls in my lap, but holy heck this was two solid inches of it, right there for the taking. I thumbed through it quickly and found my next dining room set, which is apparently made by adding upholstery to old barrels:

Also, I am totally getting this for my bathroom:
There's plenty more home furnishings where those came from, however I'm not going to bore you with that. Instead, I'm going to bore you with something else. The clothes.

The clothes are fantastic.

Here's how to get your butt kicked in elementary school:

Just look at that belt. It's like a boob-job for your pants. He probably needed help just to lift it into place. The belt loops have to be three inches long. And way to pull them up to your armpits, grandpa.

Here's how to get your butt kicked in high school:

This kid looks like he's pretending to be David Soul, who is pretending to be a cop who is pretending to be a pimp that everyone knows is really an undercover cop. Who is pretending to be 15.

Here's how to get your butt kicked on the golf course:

This 'all purpose jumpsuit' is, according to the description, equally appropriate for playing golf or simply relaxing around the house. Personally, I can't see wearing this unless you happen to be relaxing around your cell in D-block. Even then, the only reason you should put this thing on is because the warden made you, and as a one-piece, it's slightly more effective as a deterrent against rapery.

Here's how to get your butt kicked pretty much anywhere:

If you look at that picture quickly, it looks like Mr. Bob 'No-pants' Saget has his hand in the other guy's pocket. In this case, he doesn't, although you can tell just by looking at them that it's happened - or if it hasn't happened it will. Oh yes. It will. As soon as he puts down his matching coffee cup.

Here's how to get your butt kicked at the beach:

He looks like he's reaching for a gun, but you know it's probably just a bottle of suntan lotion in a holster.

How to get your butt kicked in a meeting:

If you wear this suit and don't sell used cars for a living, I believe you can be fined and face serious repercussions, up to and including termination. Or imprisonment, in which case you'd be forced to wear that orange jumpsuit.

How to get your butt kicked on every day up to and including St. Patrick's Day

I seriously don't believe that color exists in nature. There is NO excuse for wearing either of these ensembles unless you're working as a body guard for the Lucky Charms leprechaun.

"Your Search For VALUE Ends at Penneys."

As does your search for chest hair.

And this -- Seriously. No words.
Oh wait, it turns out that there are words after all. Those words are What. The. Heck. I'm guessing the snap front gives you quick access to the chest hair. The little tie must be the pull tab.

Also, judging by the sheer amount of matching his/hers outfits, I'm guessing that in 1977 it was considered pretty stylish for couples to dress alike. These couples look happy, don't they?

I am especially fond of this one, which I have entitled 'Cowboy Chachi Loves You Best.'

And nothing showcases your everlasting love more than the commitment of matching bathing suits. Note where she seems to be staring....

Then, after the swimming, you can relax in your one-piece matching terry cloth jumpsuits:

I could go on, but I'm tired, and my eyes hurt from this trip back in time. I think it's the colors. That said, I will leave you with these tasteful little numbers:Man, that's sexy.

Hey you guys!

2008-12-08T15:07:00.002-07:00

Yeah sorry it's been a bit of a while... But I have some news! We came back from a trip to Seattle, Washington (actually Everett--it's really close to Seattle) for Thanksgiving. I took TONS of photos and made a whole movie/video (or FILM, as Tom calls it) thing and I was trying to post it on here but YouTube is refusing to work with me right now so....SOON! Really soon. Like next post, I hope.

I also hand created (sorta) my own font! Like for REALS. I'm so excited and happy, it rocks my world, and has rocked for the past 48 hours. I heard of someone who made fonts for people in their own handwriting (that's what mine is, my sah-WEET penmenship. Meh.) for $25 or something. That's a pretty intense job. I may have to try it.... Anyway, I would make my post in it but you alls computers wouldn't be able to read it because it's not installed into the correct file on your hard drive. I know. Life gives you a nice lemon in technology there. But the show MUST go ON! I'll probably end up like typing a page of nonsense in the font and then post it on here as a picture in a desperate attempt to recieve praise. Meh. How depressing.

Wow, the world is full of technical difficulties, isn't it?

Well, we'll all have to bear it for a while until some genius, like ME of course, grows up and makes the world a happy, better place for everyone.

Yeah, tell someone who cares will ya? Haha, no, but that's what the teachers are always telling us (especially in core classes), huh? "And maybe YOU will be the one to discover the cure for cancer!" Sure, sure I will! And what, if i DON'T, I'm a FAILURE? That's a little below the belt to tell little elementary school kids. Sigh, I know, I know. It's just a little tiring after a while.

But why am I tired of praise? Hmm.... Maybe it seems a little bit like an empty praise when somebody tells you it a lot?

Wow, to much self-pondering for the internet. Restrain me, please.

Back to the facts! There's like 17 days left until Christmas, which means like 10 or 11 days until "Winter" break. We donated most of our Thanksgiving break (we can say that one because it's not "offensive") to the small fund of, I don't know.... 2 FULL WEEKS OF CHRISTMAS,!!!!! YES! SCORE! SNOW! Skiing, Sledding, Skating GALORE. I love winter, it's my favorite season. And YES, I do love the cold. Shudder in my glory.

Too bad Tom fervently refuses to use the snowblower and then complains about shoveling the walks. Your problem, not mine, buddy.

Our house is officially decorated now--practically teeming with little santas (I SWEAR they look innocent in the daytime, but are relentlessly evil and freakish in the dark). As my dear friend said today at lunch, yes, it DOES look like it came out of a magazine. Hey, that's what you get when you have an interior designer for a mom. I'm not complaining. I would take a picture of our tree if I had a camera...but.... I don't have a camera. And Tom has TWO but HE won't SHARE it. *Stick tongue out childishly here* It seems like I have no resources at all except this computer (thank HEAVENS)...and....my radio? Sheesh. Pitiful. We don't even get the newspaper anymore.

I'm done blabbering for now, and some scones are calling me from upstairs, so goodbye, for now.... :)

PS: My sister Caroline made a new blog called "Tell Us Another Joke!" about her seriously insane like A.D.D physics teacher. Check it out here, it's really funny.

Live Puppy Stream

2008-11-22T21:47:00.003-07:00

****** NEW !!! 12/03/08 I took off the puppy stream because it took so long to load, (it used to be right here) but you can still see it right above my playlist at the bottom of this page.

I added a live puppy stream to my blog at the bottom of this page....and here if you are too lazy to look. It's an actuall live stream of the inside of a puppy kennel. Watch you favorites play and chase their tails 24 hours a day. And live a sad and pitiful life, if you really wish to spend your time that way. No, but really, it's a nice way to see puppies with out allergies or cleaning up poop, or even getting up at 4 AM to run your little scrump out the door to do their business. Enjoy and please, don't obsessise over it. I know it's addicting, but we must learn to resist.

So I've been victimized!

2008-11-15T12:06:00.002-07:00

If you have been victimized, then fill out the following form -copy or paste, whatever - post it on your blog, and then capture others!

WISHES
1. To go to college and be an educated adult.
2. To stand up for what I believe in-- EVEN WHEN IT'S HARD!!
3. To live an eventful and meaningful life.
4. To show those I love that I love them.

DESTINATIONS
1. Rio De Janeiro
2. Rome
3. Paris
4. Tokyo

CAREERS
1. Writer
2. Graphic Design Artist/Marketer
3. Photographer
4. Professional Dancer

VICTIMS
1. Olivia
2. Flan
3. Emily
4. Caroline

So Beat the Drums 'cause We're So Thoroughly Mod-ern Mil-lie Now!

2008-11-12T13:15:00.005-07:00

Come see my play!!! I don't know if you can see the dates and stuff in this picture (if you can't just click on it) but it's November 13-17 each night (but Sunday) in the East High Auditorium at 7 pm. My school is at 840 South 1300 East. The show is called Thoroughly Modern Millie and it's a 20's styled show. IT'S SO COOL AND WAY FUN, everybody should see it. Tickets are $5 and it's full of family friendly fun and comedy. Today we just had a performance for the elementary schools and it actually went really well, except for a little prop trouble...heh heh. Yeah somebody missed their cue for raising some windows out of the way of moving doors so they broke right before intermission. But that was ALL that went wrong! It still rocked and was by far the best performance (counting like dress rehersals and all). When I was walking home today I passed the Uintah kids all playing during recess and some of them ran over pressing their faces against the fence yelling "HEY WE SAW YOU AT THE PLAY!" or "YOU GUYS WERE REALLY GOOD!". Just little things that make you feel good, you know.

9 More days!

An Update

2008-11-03T18:15:00.004-07:00

Did everybody enjoy their Halloween? I had a blast. Yes, I actually went to the Masquerade at East.

Oh my gosh, I've been wanting to write about this for a few days, but It's been the end of the term and I've been super busy....

Anyway, in biology a few days ago we were examining live goldfish under microscopes to be able to see a cell in full function. The sequence went in this order:

Take one happy healthy goldfish in a beaker and prepare it next to your microscope. Get a clean paper towel barely BARELY wet and wrap it the 'hotdog' way so it's an inch wide.

This is the gross part:

You then quickly grab the goldfish out of the beaker and cup it in your hand (don't let it flip and drop) while your partner holds out the paper towel strip. You carefully lay the goldfish near the top of the piece of towel and wrap it slowly and gently into a litle goldfish burrito. It's tail should be sticking slightly out so you can shove it under the microscope to see the cells in it's fin. This all has to be done before your fish dies. If it dies, then the teacher would flunk you. Automatically.

But that doesn't mean that kids are carefull with their goldfish -- right next to me I saw a group drop (accidentally) their fish repeatedly on the counter. It was REALLY sad to watch, but better then what happened near the end of the class period. This girl named...we'll call her Julie...kept picking the poor fish out of the water by it's tail between her fingernails and then dropping it back in. At the end of the ordeal, I couldn't exactly tell what she was doing because she was facing away from me and blocking the view of the glass but some others who were near her asked, "What are you doing to that? Did you just kill it." No answer. But later the teacher saw that it was dead, floating in it's beaker that was studiously placed next to everybody's healthy just used fish. He didn't know who ever did it. It was terrible.

Well, everything is moving on like normal. Some things are boring, some more exciting. Bleh, it's the end of the term soon and I should go get on my homework now. Sigh, highschool really sucks sometimes.

Yes yes yes yes!

2008-10-19T13:54:00.002-07:00

THERE ARE ONLY 33 DAYS LEFT!!!! AHHHHHHH!! Yes, I'm counting down. And you should be too, if you're not. I can't possibly wait it's going to be so unbelievably AWESOME.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, shame on you and I'm disbanding/un-friending you. Forever.

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!

As you may or may not know:

2008-10-17T14:23:00.006-07:00

My sister is living at our house. It would be way fun except that she has two kids under 3 and babysitting is much needed 24/7. All the time. But the upside is that we have gourmet food like every night. I know she would beg to differ from this statement, but hey, it's gourmet for us.

We also got a new puppy! Her name is Maggie and she's a three month old purebred German Shepard. She has a black face and back and she is adorable and amazingly gentle. I didn't name her and "Maggie" wasn't my first choice but......meh. Too late, it seems. I call her when she's being annoying. My mom doesn't approve. Not "lady-like" enough? Heh it's my mom's first girl dog and she doesn't know what to expect.

Enough musing, I'm getting back to the facts. German Shepards are born with both ears down -- the eventually stand up on their own, sometimes one is up and one down for a week or two. When we got Maggie she was like that but now they are both up. She's not as fluffy as the show german shepards that appear first in your google image search, those are American bred GS'. Maggie is a real German GS, and her back doesn't arch down like those fancy shmancy ones, but I don't really like that anyway. I'm really excited because GS' are known for their eagerness to help so you can train them to do virtually anything from bringing in the groceries to helping a blind man out of bed. Famous handicap helper dogs. Yeah, Maggie is going to be my happy supertrain dog. She is SO bringing in the groceries by next year. I'm counting down the days.

I promise I'll get pictures of her on AHY SAP, but my phone got stolen so I can't take them by my own resources.

Oh yeah, so my phone was stolen. At school. During dance. It REALLY sucks. It's just like getting it taken away by a parent but you can't see the light of ever getting it back and it's more expensive. And you loose your contacts. Heh, at least I can look back on that one OCD post last Christmas all about it and mourn.

My parents are out of town right now, they just got back from a trip to Sun Valley, came home for 18 hours and then left for Wisconsin (there now). They'll come back after that and then leave like a week later for ARKANSAS of all places. Buisness trips for my mom, I assume.

So yeah, it's pretty hectic here. With babysitting nephews to potty training pups, we got it all.

Happy Birthday to my Old Man and Gal

2008-10-03T18:18:00.004-07:00

This is just a short "shout out" (shudder) to my dad on his birthday, and my mom for her birthday ten days ago;

Thanks for all the times in St. George and hanging out on the weekend! Have a great day, Dad.

You are so awesome mom, no matter how many times you ground me (heh.) You are definitely the most talented person I have ever met, you could do whatever for your career and totally serve anyone else. You are a great role model and sorry I didn't post a congrats before.

Happy Birthday again!

My New Blogger

2008-09-16T15:30:00.003-07:00

I'm losing my mind because nobody in the whole world EVER READS THIS BLOG! Yep, all the visits are mostly from me changing and editing my background or something.

I think I'm going to cry.

Please please please please COMMENT so at least I know that you have been here and it's not just my imagination! I'm going insane.

And I TOOK OFF THE BUTTERFLIES if that really bugged you. Besides, I know that you secretly love my new background because I sure as heck do.

Comment, please! Sometime soon!

Chow.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand ---

2008-09-11T15:47:00.004-07:00

WE BROKE 1,000 VISITS! Whoo hoo! Many thanks to everybody who has ever read my blog. And to anybody who hasn't looked at my blog ever or within the last month, you should be shuffling your feet and twisting your thumbs while I hunt you down to kill you.

Have a nice evening!

Yeah Yeah

2008-09-08T16:57:00.000-07:00

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

So I didn't do that whole thing about highschool. Big deal. Look, time's a little tight around here. It's kinda hard to get on blogger everyday.

But I will try to get on as much as possible.

Does anybody know what skype is? I've used it before and it's WAY fun. You see, because my firend Olivia moved to Costa Rica, we have to find SOME way to connect to her. Besides, even if we can call her for free, it still ain't as fun. Skype is like MSN messenger but instead of typing and seeing somebody's picture, you actually are TALKING (not through some dorky microphone or a headset hopefully) to the person on a camera as their [MOVING] face is talking live back to you. WAY awesome. And easier to communicate, too. In that way, you can REALLY see how the person is doing, by their facial expressions and surroundings than rather the usuall

LOL k like it's ok.

Jeeze.

Also, I'm in the drama club and in the school play. WAY fun. Looking forward to it. It's "Thoroughly Modern Millie". It was written about ten years ago but it takes place in the 1920's. All the freshman can only be part of the ensamble, but it ROCKS anyway to be a part of it.

I'm also trying out for the East High track team. After a little running experiment in gym on friday, I realized how much I really loved running. Sprinting, I should say, I CAN NOT do cross country. But anyway, I forgot all about my running days at Uintah Elementary. Hah, I beat ALL those boys back then. Yeah, so somebody told me in gym that I had to join track, and I easily agreed. I'll post more on it when I get more details.

Piano just got back from it's summer break. SIGH. It's all back to the usuall now. I think I'm going to cry. . .

Caroline and I are doing another two piano duet again. The last one at our recital was a big hit. Megan (the teacher) said that all the little kids in their lessons after that wanted to be like "those really good red-head twins" someday. I'm also learning a song called "Dancing on the (Berlin) Wall by David Lanz - he's that guy that did Cristofori's Dream. I know. Here's a video of somebody playing it so you can hear. It's kinda a grim happy. It's about the wall coming down. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4z6QHPLOncc and C.D. if you really are that bad with remembering famous songs. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBfFI-Xdrvs

And my other first dance class of this new semester is starting tomorrow. I'm taking dance at school, once a week at VT and twice a week at TDC. Pretty fancy, Eh?

I told you I was busy.

Anywho, the other day, I was staring blandly out the window of geography when I saw a little van pull up in front of the school. Two little girls no more than 10 or 12 jumped out and started running around and screaming. Then a Mom stepped out looking rather flushed herself, taking pictures of all the place. After a while they got back in the car and drove away. Everybody in the room who wasn't a freshman took one look, grunted, and got back to work. I wonder how much of this we are to endure?

Caroline's Sweet 16th Brithday Party -- The Slip-and-Slide!

2008-09-07T19:33:00.001-07:00

Highschool

2008-08-27T15:30:00.004-07:00

FINALLY HERE!!! Woohoo. Yep folks, I now officially attend the United States #1 (next to Forks) most POPULAR high school. From my geography classroom we can see the front though our windows and my teacher said that sometimes you can see cars that pull up full of screaming little 10 year old girls who jump out and run around like maniacs taking pictures. But that's another story.

Moving on -- here is my scheduale:
A Day
1. Dance
2. Geometry
3. French
4. Seminary

B Day
1. Geography
2. PE Skills
3. Biology
4. Language Arts

A Day is by FAR my favorite day. Today was my second day of school, so I have experienced both days once. The classes are SO MUCH BETTER THAN MIDDLE SCHOOL YOU CANNOT BELIEVE IT AND YES I AM YELLING IF IT SEEMS THAT WAY BECAUSE I AM TYPING IN CAPITALS.

Things are way fun. Je'Taime françis! I can't wait to go back to the A Day tomorrow!

I hope to write every day, by the way. I think I mentioned that a few posts ago. Ah well.

Oh and in that picture at the top, you'll notice in HSM3 if you see it, the EAST HIGH SCHOOL sign thing will be different. I've seen it--It has like the New Mexico flag on either side.

The second picture is my cafeteria. Fo Sho. The thing behind the main actors is presently hanging in our big gym. I think that Disney gave it to us (they actually did a lot for us, like souping up our sound systems and painting our lockers -- hey, as a treat I'll get a picture of Sharpay's locker for you, it's particularly a preppy pink and right next to the counseling center) Yes, any of you random people who googled Highschool Musical for any bit of information and got this post, it's the EXACT GYM that ZAC EFFRON STOOD AND FILMED ALL YOUR FAVORITE BASKETBALL SCENES IN. Gag. Yeah in gym today I was just sitting on the bleachers, while the coach was talking about the disclosure, and staring at the floor remembering all the movie cameras and California directors running around between shots and squirting Effron so he looked like he was all sweaty and sexy (details on that a few posts back). Weird memories. Well, I've been droning on about that movie for a few paragraphs now so I figure it's time to shut up. Oh well.

Happy Birthday Hudson!

Happy Birthday Caroline (on the 7th)

2008-08-20T10:06:00.006-07:00

Sorta same biz as Max, but I have your professional ones on here too! Happy B-Day! Loves!

You are sorta in this one...

Happy Birthday Max (on the 6th)

2008-08-20T08:34:00.006-07:00

Happy Birthday little buddy! As your present, I have made you a little collage of all the pictures of you on my phone:

One of my favorite new songs

2008-08-06T11:47:00.007-07:00

Has anybody seen the movie "The Phantom of the Opera"? That is one of my favorites of all time! I love the music, the actors, every thing. The girl who plays Christine Dae (Di-AYE [French, I believe]), Emmy Rossum is one of the most talented singers I have ever seen. Or heard rather. Anyway, she was 16 when she started Phantom and now she's 20 with a new album completely seperate from the movie. One of her songs, "Slow Me Down" is completely accapella. The song about trying to “find a respite from all the craziness,” is made up of more than 150 different parts and harmonies, every one of them sung by Emmy herself, including, in some cases, the percussion. It's so cool, and her music video is awesome. Slow Me Down is at the bottom of my playlist if you want to hear it. The music video is at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0eGe-VV7I8. She also has her own website at emmyrossum.com and she puts funny photos on there of her personal life...

Breaking Dawn

2008-08-05T09:56:00.003-07:00

I'M DONE!!!!!!

It's DONE!!!!

I got it on Sunday evening and I finished yesterday evening. That's without reading in the night when I'm supposed to be sleeping. Yesterday I read for 6 straight hours. I don't even remember what I ate for breakfast.

IT'S OVER!!!! OH I'M SO SAD!!!!! I tried to drag it out, but, you know..... it didn't work.

No spoilers here! But I do have to say that it's REALLY unexpected. REALLY unexpected. REALLY REALLY REALLY unexpected. Actually, that's one of the chapter titles -- "Woah, sure as heck didn't see that one coming". Also, to mix it up, almost half of the book is in Jacob's view. Way awesome. A must read for all Twilighters. (DUH.)

A Busy Summer

2008-08-02T18:33:00.015-07:00

OH MY GOSH I'M GONNA DIE.

My summer has been SO busy, and I just want to relax! I had:

1. Graduation (beginning June 5th)

2. Straight to a "end of Clayton" party sleepover

3. Next day (at the sleepover) is my birthday (no complaints there)

4. My Mom took a week of of work so we could do major spring cleaning.

5. Go up to my cabin for a week.

6. Came back and went somewhere else I don't remember where.

7. Had three days then went to LDS GIRLS CAMP for a week.

8. Had three days then went to Saint George for a week.

9. Had two days then went up to my cabin.

10. Going back to cabin in a couple of days.

That's alot for two months! I'm dying here because we've only had a couple days between each thing, and any time that we've had at home is instantly spent with something productive. Yuck.

Ok, so yesterday I just got back from a trip up to my cabin with my cousin, and as soon as we get back, WE PAINT THE GARAGE, A COUPLE OF CHAIRS, AND TOM'S STUDIO. The NEXT day. Besides, last night I stayed up till 1 AM for Stephanie Meyer's new addition to the Twilight series, Breaking Dawn. The party was a blast and I'll tell about that later but my point is that we were DEAD tired.

All in all, I have only hung out with friends 5 times this summer.

Camp was great. Our ward--being the most....highspirited...--pranked every night. . . maybe even twice on a few nights. There was a bear spotting 1 mile away but the leaders lied so we wouldn't freak out and told us there were rumors of bears 10 MILES AWAY. Lovely. Our camp was ransacked by raccoons the first night though. Highpoint was probably when we were canoeing on the lake and Flannery M., Annie P., and I were the "pirates" of the camp. We would pull up close to the little behives canoes trying to "enitiate contact" and then suddenly take their oars and paddle away as fast as possible. We actually did pretty well, and after about 15 minutes of pillage and plunder boats we hadn't even touched before knew not to trust us and would scream "IT'S THE PIRATES!!!" and paddle away before we could call out anything. Don't worry though, by the end we gave back all the paddles. Though a word of advice to you people - try to have an even number of people paddling on a canoe. And don't ever fall out because once you spill, you really can't get back in without severe pain.

Saint George was a blast. We stayed at my Grandma's condo. It had a deck and a real nice pool. Caroline and I both slept on queen sized beds. The following are pictures I took with my phone.This is a picture I took of the deck and pool.

This is an arch in some of the goonie land.

The St. George narrows. You really had to squeeze through! Nicknamed "Fat man's agony". Pinky to thumb width at places. Pretty blue sky on top of the narrows. Orange sandstone decorates the landscape.It was SO FRIGGIN HOT THERE! Ty looking around in some of the caves, beginning of the narrows

Hamilton and all of us playling in a tech store. There was a decoration Halo helmet there, and...well... you can see. Saying goodbye to the sun on the way home.

Anyway, St. George was a blast. What's next? Oh yeah, the cabin. It was great! My cousin persuaded us to watch like every Jackie Chan movie ever made, but in the end the worth it. We got to shoot a 22 rifle up in Ceder Hollow and a 40 year old 22 handgun 6 shot revolver.

The rifle was my uncle's and the handgun was my Grandpa's, but he gave it to my uncle. Mark (the uncle) has many more guns and is an amazing teacher. He has taught many gun classes and we were VERY safe and "green". We made sure to pick up all the shells from the bullets and for targets we looked around and found a few Coke/Pepsi cans that were litered and brought them home when we were done.

OK OK last one now. Ugh, this is getting tiring.

The Breaking Dawn party at Barnes and Noble in Sugarhouse. If you don't understand anything that I am gonna say about any Twilight book, well tough luck, but I'm saying it anyway. The party was really fun! I dressed up as Jane, one of the people in the Volturi (like the vampire mafia). It was SO cool. I had a real big black cloak with a freaky hood, a black skirt that was like linen from Forever 21, and a white shirt that was fancy frilly (don't really know how to describe it) tucked in a little. For makeup I had bright red eyeshadow over my eyes - I couldn't put in red contacts so that had to do- slight mix of purple eyeshadow UNDER my eyes so it looked like I was "suffering from a sleepless night, or just recovering from a broken nose". Then I had a little bit of sparklies on my cheekbones. It was way cool cause I always kept my hood up and tried to be emotionless. There was a costume contest and that was great cause I got like 20 invatations to go but when I got up on the stage I tripped over my cape and my shoes squeaked. Not too smooth.

There was also booths of "Ask Alice" so you could get your fortune told through tarot cards. I schooled everyone at the trivia from volenteers walking around with questions about the books, and got 6 sets of Breaking Dawn stickers, a pin, and a set of vampire teeth.

My AWESOME NEIGHBOR AND PERSON WHO I BABYSIT FOR, Carly, took us (Me, Olivia, Flannery, and Chloe) down there and stayed to hang out. That girl is SO cool, I love her. She wasn't going to get her book at B & N because it was unnecesarily expensive so when it was time [ominus voice] she went inside and sat right next to the window and as we sorta jokingly not seriously dared her, she shoved her face against the window, filled up her cheeks with air, and blew a HUGE rasberry into the window. It was SO gross and hilarious. We didn't expect her to really do it but, OH WELL!

Well, that's as much typing as I can stand for now, so LATER.

My Seven Deadly Sins

2008-07-23T19:48:00.000-07:00

Greed:	Medium
Gluttony:	Low
Wrath:	Low
Sloth:	Low
Envy:	Medium
Lust:	Very Low
Pride:	Medium

The Seven Deadly Sins Quiz on 4degreez.com

An Excuse

2008-07-19T18:55:00.004-07:00

Sorry everybody -- my computer crashed a while ago and we haven't been able to do anything on it..... BUT NOW WE HAVE A NEW ONE!!!! The monitor is HUGE. It takes up a whole shelf in our black cabnet downstairs.

You can't really tell how big it is from these pictures, but it's two feet long and a beautiful sleek black color.We got it from Costco, which I have to admit I had my doubts about at first, but in the end I was very impressed with the selection of electronics that they have there.

It has an Intel Core 2 3600 (I think) quad processor, a LightScribe DVD SuperMulti Drive/ CD writer, an extra expansion bay built in, an HP Pocket Media Drive Bay, it's built in with Windows Vista Home Edition, and is energy approved. I think, if I can remember right, is has somewhere around like 180-190 GB of stored ram, which is BETTER THAN I COULD EVER HAVE IMAGINED compared to the 10-12 GB we had on the last computer. The graphics card though isn't to fancy, just basic, but at least it's an improvement off of our old one!

Oh, and the monitor can turn 90 degrees to the side so it's in portrait mode...

I just got back from YW Stake Wilderness camp, which was a blast, but right now I'm really tired and I am going to take a nap, then post all about the week of indescribable describability.

Toodaloo.

I know, I know!

2008-07-02T15:07:00.002-07:00

Hey you guys! Sorry, I know that I haven't posted in a while... Oops. Anyway I just wanted to say that at the beginning of this new school year (9th Grade at East High) I'm going to change the title of my blog to "This Highschool Life" or something similar to that (yeah I don't know I sort of made that up on the spot...). I'm going to post on it every day like a REAL journal but I'm not going to use names--Just nicknames or letters, i.e a Jane would just be a J and a Mark an M or something--and I'm going to give an insider's account of the drama......

Ok you have to tell me RIGHT here RIGHT now if that's a good or bad idea. . . it sounded kinda fun, I don't know, but anyway comment if you have any pointers! Thanks.

Oh, and I got this really cool song by Katy Perry if you want to hear it, it's at the bottom of my playlist on this page. Uh, just be a little optimistic of the lyrics. They arn't bad or anything, I PROMISE. Just.... well you'll see...