Cramma Time & a Post Thanksgiving Note

It's the end of the semester, and like the title says, it's really time to CRAM the studies. I already have one test tomorrow, a math packet due, a huge biography check (of Tom, my step dad that includes real interviews) and in art I have to really buckle down and book it with my Aboriginal Dream Painting that literally is a pain.

Do you ever feel like you are living, but not really LIVING? Like life is sort of a...I don't really know, like it feels like you arn't really alive. Your brain just goes through it's usuall steps of the day while you sit back and rather stare. Your head thinks okay, get up. Okay, get dressed. Okay, time to study. Okay, sharpen your pencil. I really don't know how to describe this feeling, it's sort of like a dullness. Almost, I'M NOT SAYING ANYTHING HERE -- I'M PERFECTLY HAPPY!!! but a depressing feeling. Like you don't really live on Earth, you are just somebody sitting back, looking through eyes for windows as you physical self completes a test with A's or walks to her next class or stands by friends.

I usually have this feeling (maybe it's stronger because I am really quiet at school), but I just want to say that I am REALLY REALLY thankful for the activities that completely destroy this dullness. Lets name them:

DANCE - definately, first priority. My favorite type of dance is creative/lyrical dance at the University of Utah. Some of my fellow dancers say that I was born with a natural talent, and I really want to try out for company (CDT) this spring. You see, when I dance, I let out all of my feelings to the world, I get to give my brain a rest. I move unseeingly, only one goal in my mind of performing a shadow, or a mountain, or anything that my peers and I are asked to do. Dance is my way of letting out all of my emotions, it's a way to show the world who I really am inside. Whatever happens, whatever accidents may occur, I never want to let that action go.

ART - There is something about painting an abstract picture that is so...I don't really know how to say this, but nourishing. Everybody needs a little break to leak out some artistic-ness, and describing feelings is a way that puts the cherry on top. I love art. Everyone has there own way of art in my family, and we seem to be bursting with it!