Friday, December 26, 2008



Yay! I'm so happy! Just everybody know, there is a story with every picture, and if nothing makes sense, then just comment and I'll tell you the meaning.

A 1977 JC Penny Catalog

I'll be giving the credit for this post to another blog -- but it's TOTALLY blog worthy. Just spreading the message.

Last weekend I put an exhaust fan in the ceiling for my wife's grandfather. While my wife's brother and I were fitting the fan in between the joists, we found something under the insulation. What we found was this:

A JC Penney catalog from 1977. It's not often blog fodder just falls in my lap, but holy heck this was two solid inches of it, right there for the taking. I thumbed through it quickly and found my next dining room set, which is apparently made by adding upholstery to old barrels:

Also, I am totally getting this for my bathroom:
There's plenty more home furnishings where those came from, however I'm not going to bore you with that. Instead, I'm going to bore you with something else. The clothes.

The clothes are fantastic.
Here's how to get your butt kicked in elementary school:
Just look at that belt. It's like a boob-job for your pants. He probably needed help just to lift it into place. The belt loops have to be three inches long. And way to pull them up to your armpits, grandpa.
Here's how to get your butt kicked in high school:
This kid looks like he's pretending to be David Soul, who is pretending to be a cop who is pretending to be a pimp that everyone knows is really an undercover cop. Who is pretending to be 15.
Here's how to get your butt kicked on the golf course:
This 'all purpose jumpsuit' is, according to the description, equally appropriate for playing golf or simply relaxing around the house. Personally, I can't see wearing this unless you happen to be relaxing around your cell in D-block. Even then, the only reason you should put this thing on is because the warden made you, and as a one-piece, it's slightly more effective as a deterrent against rapery.
Here's how to get your butt kicked pretty much anywhere:
If you look at that picture quickly, it looks like Mr. Bob 'No-pants' Saget has his hand in the other guy's pocket. In this case, he doesn't, although you can tell just by looking at them that it's happened - or if it hasn't happened it will. Oh yes. It will. As soon as he puts down his matching coffee cup.
Here's how to get your butt kicked at the beach:
He looks like he's reaching for a gun, but you know it's probably just a bottle of suntan lotion in a holster.
How to get your butt kicked in a meeting:
If you wear this suit and don't sell used cars for a living, I believe you can be fined and face serious repercussions, up to and including termination. Or imprisonment, in which case you'd be forced to wear that orange jumpsuit.
How to get your butt kicked on every day up to and including St. Patrick's Day
I seriously don't believe that color exists in nature. There is NO excuse for wearing either of these ensembles unless you're working as a body guard for the Lucky Charms leprechaun.
"Your Search For VALUE Ends at Penneys."
As does your search for chest hair.
And this -- Seriously. No words.
Oh wait, it turns out that there are words after all. Those words are What. The. Heck. I'm guessing the snap front gives you quick access to the chest hair. The little tie must be the pull tab.
Also, judging by the sheer amount of matching his/hers outfits, I'm guessing that in 1977 it was considered pretty stylish for couples to dress alike. These couples look happy, don't they?
I am especially fond of this one, which I have entitled 'Cowboy Chachi Loves You Best.'
And nothing showcases your everlasting love more than the commitment of matching bathing suits. Note where she seems to be staring....
Then, after the swimming, you can relax in your one-piece matching terry cloth jumpsuits:
I could go on, but I'm tired, and my eyes hurt from this trip back in time. I think it's the colors. That said, I will leave you with these tasteful little numbers:Man, that's sexy.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Hey you guys!

Yeah sorry it's been a bit of a while... But I have some news! We came back from a trip to Seattle, Washington (actually Everett--it's really close to Seattle) for Thanksgiving. I took TONS of photos and made a whole movie/video (or FILM, as Tom calls it) thing and I was trying to post it on here but YouTube is refusing to work with me right now so....SOON! Really soon. Like next post, I hope.

I also hand created (sorta) my own font! Like for REALS. I'm so excited and happy, it rocks my world, and has rocked for the past 48 hours. I heard of someone who made fonts for people in their own handwriting (that's what mine is, my sah-WEET penmenship. Meh.) for $25 or something. That's a pretty intense job. I may have to try it.... Anyway, I would make my post in it but you alls computers wouldn't be able to read it because it's not installed into the correct file on your hard drive. I know. Life gives you a nice lemon in technology there. But the show MUST go ON! I'll probably end up like typing a page of nonsense in the font and then post it on here as a picture in a desperate attempt to recieve praise. Meh. How depressing.

Wow, the world is full of technical difficulties, isn't it?

Well, we'll all have to bear it for a while until some genius, like ME of course, grows up and makes the world a happy, better place for everyone.

Yeah, tell someone who cares will ya? Haha, no, but that's what the teachers are always telling us (especially in core classes), huh? "And maybe YOU will be the one to discover the cure for cancer!" Sure, sure I will! And what, if i DON'T, I'm a FAILURE? That's a little below the belt to tell little elementary school kids. Sigh, I know, I know. It's just a little tiring after a while.

But why am I tired of praise? Hmm.... Maybe it seems a little bit like an empty praise when somebody tells you it a lot?

Wow, to much self-pondering for the internet. Restrain me, please.

Back to the facts! There's like 17 days left until Christmas, which means like 10 or 11 days until "Winter" break. We donated most of our Thanksgiving break (we can say that one because it's not "offensive") to the small fund of, I don't know.... 2 FULL WEEKS OF CHRISTMAS,!!!!! YES! SCORE! SNOW! Skiing, Sledding, Skating GALORE. I love winter, it's my favorite season. And YES, I do love the cold. Shudder in my glory.

Too bad Tom fervently refuses to use the snowblower and then complains about shoveling the walks. Your problem, not mine, buddy.

Our house is officially decorated now--practically teeming with little santas (I SWEAR they look innocent in the daytime, but are relentlessly evil and freakish in the dark). As my dear friend said today at lunch, yes, it DOES look like it came out of a magazine. Hey, that's what you get when you have an interior designer for a mom. I'm not complaining. I would take a picture of our tree if I had a camera...but.... I don't have a camera. And Tom has TWO but HE won't SHARE it. *Stick tongue out childishly here* It seems like I have no resources at all except this computer (thank HEAVENS) radio? Sheesh. Pitiful. We don't even get the newspaper anymore.

I'm done blabbering for now, and some scones are calling me from upstairs, so goodbye, for now.... :)

PS: My sister Caroline made a new blog called "Tell Us Another Joke!" about her seriously insane like A.D.D physics teacher. Check it out here, it's really funny.