Friday, January 9, 2009

The Ten Commandments of Weight Loss

I. Thou shalt honor thy health and happy, happy thoughts above all else.
II. Thou shald not work the vending machines: therein lieth the way of madness.
III. Thou shalt not steal bites from thy neighbor's plate.
IV. Thou shalt not eat when thine eye lusteth but when thy stomach doth supplicate for sustenance.
V. Thou shalt sup chiefly on the fruits of the earth, the grains and vegetables thereof, on the fowl of the air and the fish of the seven seas, whence cometh not doughnuts.
VI. Thou shalt not eat when thou art feeling sad, for food is not a medicine unto the soul. Thou shalt hug thyself instead.
VII. Thou shalt take exercise daily; for why hast thou sinew and bone, legs and sneakers?
VIII. Thou shalt not eat in front of thy TV.
IX. Thou shalt delight in every good word and good song and good day.
X. Thou shalt keep these Commandments, if thou wants to fit into thy new jeans.

These are the words posted on the Sonshine Valley Cafeteria Wall, (whose motto is 'What Would Jesus Eat?') which is a fictional Christian fatcamp in a book that I read called Scrambled Eggs at Midnight. The book is young adult genre and is HILARIOUSLY FUNNY,

...but I don't want to take the time to give you a summary because I just wrote a huge essay on it and am sick of typing in school language. Go google it if you're so pushy/curious/gullible. But I do think that's a good model for a new year's resolution.... but I can't follow it. Food is my FRIEND. I tell myself sometimes at Sizzler buffets that I could never be anerexic or vegetarian. Sorry you guys, but I just love MEAT. Mmmm....Steak. ^_^ No, but really, it's good that I have a high metabolism/take so much outside-of-school dance/am such a spaz that I can burn all them food cals off.

Wow, that was a side track. But anywho every post from hereforth I am going to type at least one luxury and one thing that sucks (preferably something that I've experienced within that week), because well, it's amusing. For me...and...for me. That's taking account for all of my *cough* readers.


1. Putting the first knife into a fresh peanut butter jar.

2. When sucking up to teachers works.


1. Opening the wrong end of a cereal box.

2. Trying to shake a pillow back in it's case, but grabbing the wrong end to shake.

3. Blisters.

As you can see, I've already added a larger list to the sidebar.

PS. I have just starred in a amazing model shot taken by my sister Emily (click on her name to see her blog) and I thought it was so candidly amazing that I'm posting it here:

I'm on the far left. Yeah, when my mom saw that she gave me quite the scolding, saying I ruined a cute family picture. Well, c'est la vie, it's too late now.

And also, I've finally decided to expose my mad love affair with the Maytag man at the Park City Home Depot...

Real MEN are made of cardboard.

2 Love Notes:

Caroline said...

huh... that's all i have to say... oh and tu est full of balogna

Hannah said...

vous suck a' francais