What do I need?

If you're bored, and possibly procrastinating (hey, I guessed right!) you may want to try this. Go to Google and type in your name + needs.

Example: "Hannah needs "

Well Google, what do I need? Here are my top 15 favorites, not in any particular order.

1. Hannah needs to freely explore her world.
2. Hannah needs a farm visit.
3. Hannah needs a Foster home.
4. Hannah needs a good break.
5. Hannah needs Roomies! (Actual inflection)
6. Hannah needs a photo of a Marine Corps dress, blue buttons. (Oddly specific)
7. Hannah needs food, walks, and a steady supply of tail-scratches.
8. Hannah needs a hug.
9. Hannah needs some alone time.
10. Hannah needs $3 million.
11. Hannah needs your money.
12. Hannah needs some sensitivity training.
13. Hannah needs to die off or something.
14. Hannah needs to tan.
15. Hannah needs to be loved.

Isn't that pathetically revealing? I thought so. Apparently I need to open up to the world (perhaps through a farm visit), be more sensitive. Then and then I can be tan, loved, and rich! If that doesn't work, I just need to die off or something.

This is almost as funny as the controversial Google Suggest. I suggest that you try it. I've even set another one up for you about the human race! Just click on *Update*.

Through this experience I have not only learned that a surprising number of Hannahs are Jewish, but that if people actually took Google's advice, we would be a very bewildered, uncertain people with few/no philosophical values.